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It's been a while.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Anthemic, Jul 31, 2016.

  1. Anthemic

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    I just want to apologize to all my friends on here. I disappeared for a long time and I'm feeling pretty crappy about it. A lot has happened in the past several months. I'm having stomach surgery on Thursday, August 4th. They will be removing 90% of my stomach because of ulcers. They think the ulcers are from both stress and taking aspirin for my migraines (I have Pseudotumor cerebri, and Excedrin is the only thing that helps). I didn't really feel that stressed until the beginning of July, when my Jeep's head gasket blew out and I was forced to sell it cheap to Driver's Way. So now, I'm without a car. @[email protected]

    Several months ago, I told my mom about my past with women. She did not take it well, so I told her it was just a phase. She believes me. But now I know I can never tell her I'm really a lesbian. :frowning2:

    I'm not very nervous about my surgery. It is a major surgery, but I think my problem is that I'm a little too brave for my own good. XD I thought I would grow out of being too brave, but I just turned 25, and I still feel somewhat invincible, haha. >_<

    So anyway, how is everyone? :grin:
     
    #1 Anthemic, Jul 31, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2016
  2. PatrickUK

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    Sorry to hear about all of the stress and illness. I hope you feel as though you are surviving.

    It's good to see you around again and I hope everything goes okay with the op. How long is the recovery? Will you let us know how it goes?
     
  3. White Knight

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    First of all welcome back.

    Sorry to hear about your stomach problem which can happen to me as well as I have Aspirin and Migraine combo. Hope your operation goes with out any problem and you recover quickly and as less painful possible.


    For this part here is a (*hug*) for you. Knowing your mother will never knew you hurts but like always you used to live with it.

    In any case we are here for you. (&&&)
     
  4. Anthemic

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    Thanks! I will definitely let you all know how it goes! :grin: The recovery time in the hospital will be 2-3 days. The recovery time from work will be 2 weeks. So, not too bad. :slight_smile:

    I hope you don't develop ulcers like me. The Prilosec did not work for me like it should have. >_<

    Thank you so much for your kind words. (*hug*) I'm not sure how I will hide future relationships from her, now that I'm older. I hope my future relationships will be ok with me being in the closet with my family.
     
  5. White Knight

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    I think that is the question that will be answered when that time come.

    At least for me it is like that. I never went as far as you did but implied I might be gay while joking to get very serious death threat. :icon_sad:

    She mellowed out in years it seems but still those words and hate fresh in my memory. I think what I am planning to do... trying to do is, if I find that one guy to be proud to stand by, confront her and coming out. Maybe she will accept me... us when she'll see us together... realize I won't be alone when she's gone. She seriously worry about that and if she finds an occasion slips in that how sorry she is that I'll be alone when she's gone.

    You just focus your energy on healing and thanks for dropping by. I will try to find other ways to fight off migraine attacks.

    (*hug*)
     
  6. Anthemic

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    Your mom threatened you? Good lord... I'm so sorry. :frowning2: When I told my mom, she looked like she saw a ghost. The color from her face left so quickly, like she was going to be sick. I hated seeing her that way, so I panicked and said it was a phase. I hate disappointing her. It really hurts me. She had so many hopes for me and I feel like being this way destroys everything she ever hoped for. I still plan on giving her some grandkids. But she was raised Southern Baptist and was taught that being homosexual is one of the most horrible sins. She has improved, though. She used to think people chose to be homosexual. She now believes that they are born that way, but that they should fight those feelings. She doesn't understand that humans are literally designed to have companionship. Most people crave it. So it's not fair to say that a gay person should fight their feelings.

    You think like me. I hope that one day, when I find someone to spend my life with, I will finally come out and not care so much what she thinks since I will have someone beside me who loves me unconditionally.

    I heard oxygen treatments help migraines. I had one a few months ago, and my migraine went away in 15 minutes. :slight_smile:
     
  7. BelieveinLove94

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    Unfortunately my mother didn't approve of me being a lesbian either. I tried to hint to her that I was gay and she literally looked at me and said "Are you gay? I have enough going on in my life, the last thing I need to worry about is getting you help to fix being gay." I just said I wasn't gay. Hardest thing I ever had to say because I was lying to my mother. I just hope one day I find a partner who makes me happy and she'll see how happy I am and accept me being gay.

    I hope your surgery turns out well and that you have a speedy recovery. :slight_smile:
     
    #7 BelieveinLove94, Aug 1, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
  8. Anthemic

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    Ugh, seems like our moms need to go and have a drink together, lol. I'm sorry she said that. Those words remind me of my mom. They always make this about them. "I have enough going on in my life" Oh really? Try being gay and having a mother who doesn't understand. It's a selfish thing for her to say that. You cannot fix being gay. You will literally go insane trying to "fix" it. I hope, one day, she will accept you. <3

    And thank you! I have a good feeling about it. :grin:
     
  9. myheartincheck

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    I'm sorry to hear you have some current health problems. I pray your surgery goes well.

    Your mom kind of reminds me of my sister in a way... She's only happy since I'm with a guy. It hurts that she wouldn't be as accepting if I weren't but they're very stubborn people. I'm very glad you are back on here... I was missing in action for quite awhile too but I was happy to catch up with my buddies on here. :slight_smile: I still miss some of the members from back in the day like Kay. I still have some messages from her.

    Anyways, good luck on your surgery!!! :icon_bigg
     
  10. Anthemic

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    Thanks! LOL I totally just repeated myself in PMs... >_> Haha... Your sister... Oh boy. Yeah, I totally understand. I lied to my mom and told her I was with a guy for a whole year. I feel bad, but I had no choice. :/ Oh I miss Kay so much! They banned her permanently. :frowning2: I wonder what she did, lmao. She was always up to no good. :wink:
     
  11. BelieveinLove94

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    Lol I agree, they should. It's not like we chose to be gay. I realized I was gay at thirteen but I grew up in a religious family and my mom grew up as a Baptist so I denied being gay from age thirteen to twenty one, it was December when I finally accepted being gay. I'm surprised I didn't drive myself insane denying it . Thank you, I hope your mom will accept you one day. Maybe she'll see you happy with another woman and accept you. I know that's what I'm hoping will happen with my mom. <3

    I'm glad you have a good feeling about it. :slight_smile: I once had a cyst removed from my spleen and I was nervous but everything turned out fine. I hope everything turns out well for you! :slight_smile:
     
  12. Anthemic

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    Wow, you denied it for that long? Bless your heart! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :frowning2: I started having feelings that I was when I was 13. But I didn't fully accept that I liked women until I was 14. I thought I was bisexual for years, until I realized that guys make me feel bored. XD I mean, I can see a guy and know he's attractive, but I know I could never last in a relationship with one because women are just so amazing. :icon_redf I never feel butterflies with guys. Every time a guy is interested in me, I dread it because I know I'll have to reject him eventually. :confused: I was probably 18 when I realized I was gay.

    Oh wow! A cyst on your spleen? I wonder how that happened. o_o I'm glad you're ok now! And thank you! I will keep you all updated on how things go. Today is my last day of work for the next 2 1/2 weeks! :grin:
     
  13. myheartincheck

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    Haha That's ok! And yeah... I told her I was considering moving to Colorado next year and she said I shouldn't because pot is legal there and my kids will be potheads. :dry:

    I understand. Do you still live with her? It's hard to lie about such personal things but some people just cant comprehend that you can't just change something like that....

    Haha I know she wasnt. She was so crazy I had to love that!!!
     
    #13 myheartincheck, Aug 2, 2016
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  14. Anthemic

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    I'm sorry, but what she said was a really jerkish thing to say, especially to someone in your family... That's just mean. :frowning2: Well, I know that's not true. I'm sure your kids will be sweet and smart, and many people will envy that.

    I do still live with her, unfortunately. I think a big part of it is that I'm afraid to leave her by herself. She's very clumsy sometimes and forgets to turn off her hair straightener and other things. I plan to move out within the year, though. I hope she finds a man... >_>
     
  15. myheartincheck

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    Yeah I don't know where all that comes from. We grew up in California at a high school where everyone smoked weed on campus and I didn't and still don't do it. She acts like she grew up in a conservative area LoL

    I appreciate you looking out for her. I hope you do what's best for you though :slight_smile:
     
  16. BelieveinLove94

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    I actually had an on and off relationship with a guy throughout high school, he was ok but I was so bored in that relationship. I did t even want to think about doing anything physical with him but I had a best friend who was a girl who I dreamt about kissing all the time. There was just nothing emotionally or physically there with my ex boyfriend. I think that was my first clue that I was gay but I dated him because I thought that was expected of me.

    Yeah, I have no idea how that happened but it was painful. At least you get a break from work for a few weeks to recover. :slight_smile:
     
  17. Anthemic

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    Yikes! I'm sorry you felt that you were expected to be with him. That sounds miserable. I was with a guy when I was 13. As young as that is, we were actually serious. I ended up having a crush on his mom, lmao! I never told him that, though. She was so hot! She was tall, sweet, beautiful smile, and had dark hair with gorgeous eyes. Whew! XD You had dreams about your best friend? Aww! Are you two still besties? :3

    Right! I just finished my pre-OP appointment. I've lost 9 pounds in 6 days! This liquid diet they have me on is crazy. But it's necessary for any stomach or intestinal surgery. So now I weigh 134 pounds. They said I'll probably lose more after the surgery because food will be a chore for a few weeks. I'm not complaining though. I gained a ton of weight a year and a half ago because of a condition called Pseudotumor cerebri. I lost most of the weight from spinal taps and water pills. But I'm still not at the weight I was 2 years ago; which was 125. So yay for this surgery! XD
     
  18. Anthemic

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    Just an update: I'm out of surgery. Everything went well! They found a hiatal hernia while they were inside, so they fixed that as well. Right now I'm very sore and tired. But I have hopes that things will get better. :slight_smile:
     
  19. White Knight

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    Positive vibes and prayers sent to your way for quick recovery.

    Hope you feel better soon. Glad to hear everything went smooth.

    (*hug*)