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It scares me to come out.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Josh10, Mar 21, 2020.

  1. Josh10

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    Should I right now? I don't think so. That would freak my parents out. Me and a friend played around for a while and I loved it. I haved always loved boys more than girls. I don't seem to have any interest in girls.
     
  2. Chiroptera

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    Hello there,

    Coming out is an important step for many. However, if you believe you will have problems with your parents, I suggest that you take it easy and consider if it is worth to do it now.

    In an ideal world, and I hope we achieve that in the future, everyone will treat different orientations naturally and without prejudice. However, in our current world, prejudice is a real thing, and unfortunately, we need to be careful about showing ourselves to others, especially when this may generate risks to us.

    How do you think they would react? Do you think it is worth it to wait a bit more until you are financially independent?
     
  3. Josh10

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    My parents I'm not sure abòut. My other friends no way. Not now anyway. I would like to tho
     
  4. Chiroptera

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    You could introduce this as a conversation theme, in subtle ways to see how they would react. For instance, you could tell them about a school colleague you know it is gay and that you support him.

    But, again, you should only do it if you feel comfortable doing so and if you feel it is safe to.
     
  5. Josh10

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    I do have a friend who is gay, but we hang out all the time. My parents would know it's him I'm talking about. But maybe make up something, like a kid getting messed with at school. Were not in school right now so that will have to wait. But yeah I'll think about that, thanks.
     
  6. Chiroptera

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    I didn't necessarily mean lying. As you have a gay friend, you could use him as an example (if he is out to everyone, of course - you shouldn't talk about someone's orientation if that person doesn't want that to be known, obviously). Like, if you parents already know he is gay, you could say something like "Hey, you know my friend X, who is gay? I think it is really brave of him to be open about it, as I know there are people in school and in other places who have prejudice against people like him", and see what their reaction is.

    If he isn't out to other people, then, as I've said, I don't think you should use him as a direct example, of course, as his privacy needs to be respected.
     
  7. TrevinMichael

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    Be yourself. Know yourself. Sexuality is just that. For me there is no need to come out. Come out as what? What I mean is this we are all sexual, we are all human, and how we interact with other humans when showing love is good. Coming out always seemed to me as saying to myself something is wrong with me for being this way. Some people do not think me showing love to another man is okay. I disagree.

    My parents never came to me and told me about their sex lives, and I do not feel the need to share everything I do with them.

    My point is we are all sexual and we should be accepting no matter what. If we are in total acceptance of each other as a human race then two men or women loving each other is perfectly fine.

    I spoke on purpose from where I am at with this. There are no rights or wrongs. It is what it is.

    I am human and I am sexual.
    Part of this for me over the years was accepting that some may not be okay with me being me.
    I can live with that.
     
  8. Josh10

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    We've talked about it and decided to just not tell anyone yet. He's not out either. I guess we don't really need to.
     
  9. ellief

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    hey im having like the same problem too. know ur not alone and i mean it seems like there really is no good time to come out to anyone unless they ask and u truely trust them yk. i do not have that kind of bravery to even bring up any lgbtq topic. also like if you still live with your parents like i feel like what's the point of telling them if your really not sure you want to. i mean that way you can have boys over and they wont suspect anything if yk what i mean. after that they might be more reluctant on you hanging out with guys too especially if they're not accepting. but it is always ur decision. idrk know what i'm saying but i hope this is helpful