1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

It’s been 4 years and I still can’t decide on a name

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by CactiCat, May 30, 2022.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. CactiCat

    CactiCat
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2018
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So I’m trans. I’ve known that I’m trans since I was 13 (I’m 17 now) and ever since then I’ve been trying to pick a new name. My only issue is that I’m mad indecisive and can’t stick to any one name. I go through a cycle of picking a name I like, using it online for a while cause I don’t want to tell my friends in case I change my mind, not really liking the name anymore, then picking a new one. The full cycle lasts around 4 months. I would just stick with my birth name, but it’s too feminine for my taste and makes me feel uncomfortable as a transmasc. So does anyone have any advice for choosing and sticking to a name? Cause it’s honestly getting really frustrating.
     
    #1 CactiCat, May 30, 2022
  2. chicodeoro

    chicodeoro
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    859
    Likes Received:
    961
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Does your birth name have a male equivalent? Maybe that's an idea...
     
    #2 chicodeoro, May 30, 2022
    CactiCat likes this.
  3. Rayland

    Rayland
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2021
    Messages:
    2,177
    Likes Received:
    1,659
    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If you find a name you really like, then you will stick to it. I found a name I like pretty quikly. I love anything to do with water and oceans and so on and I also took parts of it from my username. I settled with the name Rain and to my suprice it was also a legit male name in my country too. This is, if I ever finally transition the name I'm going to take.
     
    #3 Rayland, May 30, 2022
    CactiCat likes this.
  4. CactiCat

    CactiCat
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2018
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don’t think it has a male equivalent. My birth name is Elaina, so a name like Elliott would be a possibility, but it’s too masculine for me.
     
    #4 CactiCat, May 30, 2022
  5. Hawk

    Hawk
    Admin Team Full Member Away

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    13,419
    Likes Received:
    1,496
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    What about just Eli?

    Or if you want something similar to your birth name, there’s:
    Laine
    Ainsley
     
    #5 Hawk, May 30, 2022
  6. Phoenix92

    Phoenix92
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2013
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    94
    Location:
    Albuquerque NM
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey, it’s okay not to pick a “forever name” if you cannot decide on one. It doesn’t make you any less trans.

    If you go through life keeping your birth name as the legal one, while switching the nickname, that’s fine.
     
    #6 Phoenix92, May 30, 2022
  7. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    763
    Likes Received:
    496
    Location:
    Rural USA
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I was stuck between five choices- so I put them on a spinner and whichever one it landed on most was the one I would try. Ironically it landed on one that means happy the most.
     
    #7 TinyWerewolf, May 31, 2022
  8. BradThePug

    BradThePug
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    6,573
    Likes Received:
    288
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It took me some time to decide on my name. I went with something totally different than my birth name. I looked around on different sites for a while. I tried Brad and it felt the most natural for me. My friends also thought it was a fitting name for me. I used a masculine version of my birth name as my middle name. What really helped me was being able to try names and see what felt natural to me.
     
    #8 BradThePug, Jun 2, 2022
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2022
  9. Logenfye

    Logenfye
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2022
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey there! I totally get it. Something I would advise is trying out the name in person, maybe at a coffee shop or restaurant. I think it's really important to say the name out loud but also hear the name out loud and see how it feels. It might be different than hearing it in your head. I found my name by using it for ordering things online. My family didn't ask much about it because they often use a different name for ordering food at a restaurant so they got it. But something like that might help.
     
    #9 Logenfye, Jun 14, 2022
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)