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Is this too much?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Waffless, Oct 11, 2019.

?

Is seeing my girlfriend everyday too much?

  1. Yes

    3 vote(s)
    50.0%
  2. No

    3 vote(s)
    50.0%
  1. Waffless

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    How often is too often when it comes to seeing my girlfriend? Would also appreciate advice if you have it
     
  2. Chiroptera

    Admin Team Full Member

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    There is no recipe for this. It depends on the dynamics between both of you, how much time you have available, how much time you need for yourself, etc. Unless it is something extreme, it's hard to pinpoint if it is too much.

    I think the best thing to do is to communicate and talk to her. A conversation and a common decision between you and your SO will be much more positive than the evaluation of people outside of your relationship.

    In addition, it's important to remember this: If the other person wants to meet less frequently, that doesn't necessarily mean he/she doesn't want to meet you. For instance, when I had a boyfriend, we used to meet almost everyday during the first two months. However, at one point, I realized I was running out of time to do other things that were also important to me, like playing my single player games or going out with my friends. That doesn't mean these things were "more important" than him or that I didn't enjoy my time with him, however, life has more to it than dating, and, even though we may really like our SOs, we are still individuals with our own interests and our own life.

    I sat down with him and we talked about this. We end up deciding on a few days of the week which we both had time available, while still keeping a day (Sunday, in our case) for individual time. In our case, we met on Wednesday night, and then on Friday night, and he would stay with me until Sunday morning. Then, he would go to his house and I would stay at mine, so each of us could have our own private time on Sunday, to go out with friends which weren't mutual, to play other games besides the ones we played together, or anything else we wanted to do in our individual lives.

    That worked for us for almost 3 years, because we had a good amount of time together, but we would still have time for our own personal projects and interests.

    Keep in mind that this is a personal example, and it will probably not work if you use the exact same "protocol" in your situation. Excluding extremes, what may be "too much" for one couple may be "too little" for others, or vice-versa.

    I repeat: The key is to sit down and talk. Be honest with her, and be willing to listen to her too. And, if she doesn't want to meet as often as you would like, that doesn't automatically mean she isn't interested. Talk to her and decide together what's going to work best for both of you.
     
    Waffless likes this.
  3. IronGospel

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    It seems to me that seeing each other every day is not a healthy level of attachment. Sometimes it indicates insecurity or that your two can’t handle being apart. Not saying it’s the case here. But maybe ask if you need to be with each other every day.
     
  4. Destin

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    If you don't live together or have a specific reason to see each other all the time like work/school...I'd say like 3-4 days a week maximum. Seeing someone every single day when you don't live with them gets kind of excessive fast and leads to people avoiding each other just to get some alone time.
     
    #4 Destin, Oct 11, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2019
  5. Waffless

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    Thanks for the insight and we are both depressed and really clingy so I don't mind alot that we are always together but I have been slacking on homework and I was afraid of saying no to her