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Is there scientific evidence that proves hocd exists?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by bayslap, Nov 11, 2018.

  1. bayslap

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    I see a lot of straight guys freak out about having gay thoughts and feelings. They act as though homosexuality is some sort of disease. Is hocd something that is real or are these people just homophobic?
     
  2. Love4Ever

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    OCD is real. I have it, so that's a fact. However, I think Hocd is rooted in internalized homophobia which society does nothing to help.
     
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  3. Chip

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    That's correct. OCD is a very real and very debilitating condition that can make day-to-day functioning really difficult. If someone has OCD, generally the obsessive thoughts are intrusive, and relate to multiple topics or issues.

    HOCD does not exist as a standalone condition. If someone has other things going on that meet the OCD criteria, then they have OCD. If they don't meet the criteria, most likely either it is a more conventional anxiety disorder, or it is someone who is gay and having a difficult time accepting him or herself. If the person is constantly, incessantly obsessing over whether or not s/he is gay, constantly trying different 'tests', nearly all of which fail, but may hold the slightest glimmer of "proof", then that's more on the obsessive spectrum.
     
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  4. Love4Ever

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    This is true. My OCD has no bearing on my sexuality. But I have a lot of other intrusive thoughts on unrelated issues.
     
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  5. bayslap

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    Do you think the people who say they hocd are homophobic? The people who say they have this have a homophobic undertone. As if being gay was a disease.
     
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  6. Love4Ever

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    Yes, and that is because it is sadly still a pervasive attitude in our culture.
     
  7. Chip

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    no, I think a lot of it is ignorance, or simply their own internalized fears, which are pretty normal.
     
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  8. Love4Ever

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    That's true. I didn't mean to imply these people are all judgmental. I think a lot of them honestly don't really feel this way or want to feel this way but they've been taught too consciously or unconsciously.
     
    #8 Love4Ever, Nov 11, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2018
  9. tovoso

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    I sincerely can not identify if I have OCD or if I live in denial, I have always lived my quiet life labeling myself as heterosexual without question, but at 18 years of loneliness and depression, I began to question my sexuality, I began to have anxiety attacks, social phobia and mainly avoided contact with male friends because I was afraid to feel attraction, and that was when the tests began, I began to be afraid to get excited with men, the consequence was that my libido fell and nothing excites me.

    I usually have straight thoughts, but I get intrusive thoughts that distress me about which I am homosexual. I'm in doubt and constant checking, usually I'm only relieved when I read about, or I masturbate fantasizing about women, but sex with my girlfriend does not give me more pleasure like before, I always get distressed.

    I even created a post here, but no one answered, what do you think?
     
  10. Love4Ever

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    The only way to beat the anxiety and fear around this is to accept the idea you might be gay/bi. I know that might sound crazy but it's true. You will never be able to satisfy yourself you're not gay, no evidence will be enough, because the minute you think you've "proven" it the doubt will come back. I know because I have OCD, and it's horrible and vicious and keeps coming back. I never had HOCD though, and the reason why is because I didn't fear being gay, (well I did have internalized homophobia but that wasn't tied to the OCD). I didn't obsess about it and try to prove I wasn't, because the thing about OCD is it only attacks what we fear. OCD doesn't attack positive things. So what you need to do, in this case, since being gay is NOT wrong or hurtful, you need to embrace it. So when you wake up in the morning instead of combatting it by saying, I'm not gay/bi, let it go. Does it really matter in the state of the universe if you are? No, it doesn't. That then removes the fear. Make yourself look at an attractive man, not away from him, and say he is attractive. Acknowledge it and don't hide from it. Finally, are you happy with your girlfriend? Do you love her? If so, stay with her. If you truly love her there isn't a problem, only your fear.
     
    #10 Love4Ever, Nov 13, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2018
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  11. Love4Ever

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    What you really need to do is work on your anxiety which is feeding all this. You won't be able to get real answers anyway under all this stress. If there are even real answers to find.
     
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  12. tovoso

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    Love4ever, I agree with you, really the chronic doubt ends up with me in different aspects of my life, but when it got to the point of making me question my own sexuality, it was the trigger for my despair, caused me much anxiety, because it's something I never questioned before, it was a certainty that I always had. Before that, in that same period I had other forms of OCD, I felt really sick, today I do not even feel more.

    I do not identify myself as homophobic, I have already fought literally with homophobic people in defense of my homosexual friends, I do not fear being homosexual because I do not like it, or for fear of being discriminated against, or anything of the sort, I just do not see myself as homosexual, for feeling in my essence that I am attracted to women. But that damn doubt always comes.

    There was a time that I followed his tip, and I really accepted myself as gay / bi and it was liberating for me, because I did not worry, it was only the fault of having worried and this caused a better anguish, the consequence of which was that I started to to relate more easily to women, zero anxiety about it, only a reminder of my "wakefulness" still bothered me.

    Now 11 years later, it has bothered me again, I am doing therapy to ease my anxiety, it is oscillating a lot between good and bad days.

    About loving my girlfriend, yes, we've been together for six years, and now how am I doing, I'm avoiding being with her, and she felt it, I'm questioning my feeling too, being that I never questioned, which leads me even more to believe that all because of anxiety.

    Thank you Love4ever, your response was comforting.
     
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  13. Love4Ever

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    I am glad it helped. OCD really is hell. And I did not mean to imply you were INTENTIONALLY homophobic. Not at all. It is very easy to internalize it though and we may feel this way even when we don't agree with it. I did this and am learning to overcome that. I am not saying your feelings for women aren't real though, not at all. I think you know they are and your fear is also tied, like you said, to being very in love with you girlfriend so it is unimaginable to you that you don't love her. This is classic OCD thinking. It wants to make you doubt things you know to be true and that make you happy. Believe me, I know. I have intrusive thoughts and obsessions regarding all kinds of terrifying things and it definitely has stolen years, if added all up, from my life, all spent in senseless but disturbing worrying.
     
  14. whistle1

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    As others have stated, OCD is very much a "real" thing and has absolutely nothing to do with one's sexual orientation.

    HOCD is also a "real" disorder; despite the fact that is has yet to be recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It is also referred to as Sexual Orientation OCD.

    Although the fear involves sexual orientation, the heart of it is OCD.

    Psychology Today has a couple of decent articles on the subject.
     
  15. bayslap

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    It shouldn’t be recognized as a real disorder. If what you guys say is true, then it’s just ocd.
     
  16. Love4Ever

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    I don't know anywhere it is regarded as a separate disorder.
     
  17. bayslap

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    I was replying to whistle1’s comment.
     
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  18. Chip

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    HOCD isn't recognized in the DSM for the same reason that "locking locks OCD" and "not stepping on cracks OCD" and "flipping light switches OCD" and "handwashing OCD" are not listed in the DSM. Because they aren't standalone disorders.

    I very seriously doubt that HOCD (or "Sexual Orientation OCD") will ever be recognized as a standalone disorder in DSM for the reasons I described above.

    And that's certainly a reliable and credible source on the issue (Not.)
     
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  19. YeetWheat

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    From my experience with hocd I do not believe it’s homophobia most people that I met that have hocd have no problem with other people being gay but they themselves do not want to because it’s unatural to them me personally a lot of people with hocd that I’ve met didn’t really have any problem with gay people some people with hocd admitted that they’d rather actually be bi or gay then to have to deal with hocd and in all honestly I’d rather take their option as well but the truth was I’ve never had feelings for guys,I don’t get aroused by same sex thoughts,and I only ever see guys as friends and nothing more.they don’t see homosexuality as a disease but they see it as unnatural for them to live their lives like that but see it as natural to someone who is actually gay.over my 5 years of dealing with this I found that some gay people just seem to not believe hocd to be a problem for people maybe because they don’t know what those people are going through and think that they are just in denial like for example I started to have anxiety attacks about feeling anything for another guy I’m not even talking about romantic feelings I’m talking like I love my friends and my family and I would freak out about having love for my friends cause I felt that meant I had a crush on them but I found it’s normal to love your freinds and not wanting them romantically I actually hanged out with this girl then later my friends told me she was actually a guy then I freak out because I thought she was cute and so I ruminated over and over until I found out that she was actually a girl then I felt relieved
     
    #19 YeetWheat, Nov 20, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2018
  20. YeetWheat

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    I agree with what you said accepting the uncertainty is the best because it will stop treating the thoughts as something that needs to be solved and will just let the thought come and go I’m my opinion embracing what the thoughts are telling you is a good way to treat the mental disorder because for me I would be walking then get a thought out of nowhere saying oh that guy over there is cute (intrusive thought) but then in my head I’d just say yeah what ever and I’d let the thought pass even if I was tempted to do a compulsion
     
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