Is the gay community racist?

Aussie is absolutely correct. I think a lot of gay men, in particular, have completely unrealistic expectations about dating and the apps only fuel those expectations by allowing us to select/reject people for the shallowest of reasons. We need to broaden our horizons, live a little and give up on the idea of finding a perfect match. Mr Perfect does not exist!

When we reject people on the basis of race/colour we need to really examine our motives. Is it genuinely a matter of preference, or a sign of hidden prejudice? When we use statements like "no blacks" or "no Asians", what does that suggest about us? Are we, in effect saying "I'm not racist, but...."?. Many people would rather not confront the reality that they might harbour hidden prejudices, but when we use exclusionary statements like these, we may need to face up to some issues.

 

I have experienced some prejudice from members of the gay community, some even from my own race, which in my opinion is the worst.

 

Its definitely all based on shame but also general public media plays a part on the standards of beauty. Thats what feeds our community on whats attractive and not attractive, be it perfume ads,porn etc If your black, your fetish is black equals well built, black skin only,aggresive over masculine guy and a big D. Same with latino guys.(Locked out many)- if asian, tiny bottom that is smooth skinned(like hetero views of asian women),white guy-blond haired blue eyed guy or muscle tanned skin guy etc(Thus locks out many men, whether hairy, average etc)

Growing up in shame of who you are, leads to one wanting the best person(overcompensating for the shame) so they say to themselves, it will help them be finally acceptable in society if they find the standard of male beauty,probably a Chris Hemsworth,maybe a black pumper,maybe prince charming,the guy in the romantic hetero movie, the hot brazillian,the hot mixed race guy(all not chubby,hairy,average but just perfect guys). With that guy in your hand, one says heteros would be green with envy, jealous and in shock of how lucky you are, that you will have inner peace living the white picket fence dream with the hot guy atlast. All with a purpose of numbing the shame. This affects all races, cause the white will search for that in the black guy, the white guy in the white guy, white in asian guy,Asian guy in white guy(based on their societal beauty standards of men). When one gets that guy, suddenly one realises the shame isnt yet vanishing, so we find shortlived relationships or high rates of open relationships, seeking that numbing. Vice versa for lesbian women and bisexuals when approaching all genders.

 

I pretty much agree with this. Let people date who they want, and if that's not you, then move on. Other people might reject you as a sexual/romantic partner for any number of reasons besides race that are out of your control. It's not worth obsessing over. Maybe it makes people feel better to label that rejection as racism or bigotry. And that might be true in some cases, but I wouldn't assume it. A while back OKC**id did a study on which race received the highest response rate among gay males through their dating web site. Here's a surprise for you - it wasn't white males. Turns out Middle Eastern men received the highest response rate. It sort of undermines the theory that racial preferences in dating are directly informed by the prejudices that exist in society. Dating preferences are more complicated than that.

 

But that doesn't at all remove the enormous harm of creating a culture where "no blacks, no Asians" is normal. There are prejudices specifically relating to sex, both fetishising and exclusionary. Dehumanising stereotypes about black men's sexual prowess or humiliating assumptions about Asian men are very common and occur in a narrower context than, though are still related to, broader racial beliefs.

It don't need to be a neat hierarchy of races to feel racist and humilating to those who get the brunt of it. Relatively few people are consistently and ideologically racist. We should expect some level of complexity, without ignoring that people get hurt and a culture of shallowness is normal among gay men.

 

In my opinion, as far as western countries, it is.

Both directly and indirectly.

Most gay men are white, and they either don't care, or know, (Not necessarily due to hate.) about queers that are black, asian etc. and don't wish to involve themselves in that issue.

Other times, you will see separation or division in gay circuits and clubs. Like you will see asian night or latin night at gay clubs. As if all gay men of all races can't congregate.

I also think people mistake preference/attractiveness, towards attitude.

Just because you don't find a black or asian person or whatever attractive, or you are not into their culture, doesn't mean you have to shun them or ignore their existence, or not consider them apart of the LGBT advancement or whatever.

I remember not that long ago I was trying to join some queer yahoo groups online, because I was black, I wasn't seen as attractive to the group or they feel I wouldn't mesh to get together with the group. When I noticed it was white attractive queer people being allowed into the group, I also saw some other queers of color complain of not being accepted into the group either.

Because I've noticed that shit happen.