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Is the gay community racist?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by confuseduser99, Aug 24, 2017.

  1. confuseduser99

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    As a gay person of color, I have seen my fair share of racism within the community.

    Open up ###### and you'll see your run of the mill "no black, no asians", etc.

    I understand that people have types (we all do), but that doesn't mean that we should put everyone into a box and label them accordingly.

    I've seen attractive men of all races. Are some races "more attractive" than others? Maybe? But I think it's more of a numbers game (at least here in North America/Europe, where caucasians are the predominant race).

    Also, speaking to other LGBT persons of color, they all happen to feel the same way. They often feel ignored or even ostracized from the community, as if they were second class citizens, or simply invisible.

    I'd like to get other people's perspective on this.
     
  2. Kira

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    I'm not, but at the same time I can't speak for everyone.

    We're people from all over, and I suppose that leads to a lot of different ideas and varying levels of acceptance and intelligence.
    I've heard it mentioned in the past. I suppose the best thing to do is to promote "don't judge a book by it's cover" type thinking, otherwise they miss out on a lot of amazing people when they take one look and leave.
     
  3. AlexJames

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    I'm not. I've found people of color (of a variety of races/ethnicity) just as attractive as Caucasians. I don't really understand how someone could not find some random person to be not totally hot based on such a stupid, unchangeable thing as their race. I mean how does that even work. I look around, immediately think oh hey that girl's hot or whatever. Skin color doesn't factor in. I don't use dating apps (or whatever the site censored out) so i can't comment on that.
     
    #3 AlexJames, Aug 24, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2017
  4. gravechild

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    There are definitely pockets of racism in the LGBT community. Some are more controversial than others (like gay male culture, and especially drag, accused of appropriating black female stereotypes), but most issues that exist outside the community also exist inside.

    I've definitely experienced standoffish or rude behavior around white LGBT folk, and thought it must just be me being paranoid or sensitive, but apparently, its quite common. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make a scene, but they definitely stayed on my mind afterwards.

    Yeah, I was a bit disillusioned at first, since I thought there would be no racism, sexism, transphobic, etc. especially since we're all members of one or more minority group, which was naïve, looking back. That just means there is more room for improvement.
     
  5. PatrickUK

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    Is the gay community racist? No. Is there racism within the gay community? Yes, I'm afraid so and there is no point in denying it. Sometimes it's blatant racism, other times it's more insidious. Either way, it's very bad.
     
  6. Matto_Corvo

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    This pretty much sums it up very nicely.

    I get rather annoyed when I see LGBT+ people being racist. After all the struggles this community has been through, and will continue to go through, they should really know better than to discriminate against someone for being born a certain way. But the lose is there. They let them selves become filled with hate and miss out on a great many wonderful people.
     
  7. Chip

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    First, I agree that we can't generalize the gay community as a whole.

    That said, particularly within hookup and club/bar culture, shallowness is overwhelming. Racism, ageism, and ableism, and quite a number of other discriminatory practices are rampant. In short... the majority of people in those environments are extremely discriminatory, and it is beyond screwed up.
     
  8. JonSomebody

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    Hi Confuseduser99, in response to your thread, I have to say that being a gay man of color, I too have experienced racism within the gay community. Especially, when I moved to the west side of the city. In fact, I was approached by a few Caucasian gay men when I had started to frequent a few of the popular gay clubs within that community in regards to me being more comfortable in a gay club where all guys of color frequent. I have dated guys of all races and do not look at color unless you bring it into my face. I even had several Caucasian guys who had wanted to date me on a serious level but coward out of pursuing me due to the fact that their fellow friends would not approve of them being with me. What I found very interesting is that those very guys who gave them a hard time about pursuing romantically, had pursued me sexually when none of them were around to witness them doing so. I also found it very interesting that when a few of the hottest white guys whom happened to be very popular in that gay community had asked me out on dates and when these other guys saw them with me...all of a sudden...I became someone to pursue despite my skin color being an issue. Imagine that!!!!! Anyway, things did began to get better in some cases, but I just found it quite sad to know that this
     
    #8 JonSomebody, Aug 25, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2017
  9. Lizz10

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    I am very not racist, I believe everybody should be equal.
     
  10. gibson234

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    I think it's unhealthy to focus on the people who are not attracted to you, rather than the people who are. Someone not being attracted to people from a certain race is not racist. People can't chose their attractions (as gay people we understand this). Could people explain that with more tact? Probably, yes. Could it be argued that ignoring all the people from one race is closed minded? Maybe. But that's their choice and they have the right to reject people based on any criteria they may wish.

    Some people don't date people of other race because they don't believe in interracial relationships. I don't think that's a gay problem but a problem with society in general (it's not just white people who do that).
     
  11. Creativemind

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    This happens in pretty much every community. It's far better for us to focus on people who will accept us rather than waste energy on those who do not.
     
  12. Andrew99

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    You get a little bit of everybody in every single group.
     
  13. Shorthaul

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    You wont find a group that doesn't have a small percentage of bad eggs. The problem is, it is the bad eggs that get all the attention.
     
  14. Aussie792

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    Gay male culture is remarkably open about sexual preferences and shameless about shallowness in a way you don't find in many other groups.

    Note the obsession on a particular, nameless hook-up app about statistical information, such as weight, height, age and race. The filters you can apply on those metrics are pretty remarkable - and when you create an intrusive expectation to know about how much someone weighs to the kilo, choosing on the basis of race can feel fairly normal.

    That invites some level of racism to come to the fore where in other groups it remains hidden, whether it's exclusionary or fetishises people of colour.
     
  15. Chip

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    Aussie792 really nailed it. That shallowness is rooted in deep shame, which is absolutely rampant and pervasive in the gay community. It's not a small number of bad eggs; it's an epidemic problem in the gay community that is unlike any other community.

    I had a lunch discussion today and basically said that if every gay man did their shame work, said nameless hook-up app wouldn't exist because no one would be interested in the sort of stuff that goes on there. It's really a sad commentary on where gay men are. Hopefully we can slowly begin to change that.
     
  16. Twist

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    In my personal experience as an Asian man, I find that although I see the "No Asian" thing all the time, the motivation is... odd.

    Again, in my personal experience, a large section of the (American) gay community excludes Asians because they seem to fear that the Asians are going to "swoop in and steal all the good white guys".

    Another reason I've seen that guys put the "No Asians" on their info is because they fear the consternation of their peers if they date an Asian man.

    Are these examples racist? Very probably.
     
  17. dvxqnc

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    Yes, there is racism within the gay community. I actually think it's quite a big problem that we sweep under the rug.
     
  18. resu

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    Racism among gays is a reflection of racism in the broader society, but sometimes it's more visible. There are some positive signs things are already changing, like a survey that showed same-sex couples are more likely than straight couples to be interracial/interethnic, but that was still only around 20%.

    When you consider hookup apps prioritize looks, it's going to place [in Western countries] youthful, athletic white men at the top of the totem pole. In a way, this mimics the racial bias in the modeling industry.

    Also, I would push back on the idea that racial preferences are the same as sexual orientation. Those "preferences" may not seem like a choice, but they are a product of the environment (race itself is an overly broad category in terms of physical appearances), or you wouldn't have cases where even many people of color stating they are more attracted to whites.

    Finally, representation is also a challenge when you look at the demographics of gay media. It is partially a numbers game (a minority among a minority), but it's also up to some members in the majority (i.e. gay white men) to lead by example and speak against discrimination. Racism thrives where it goes unchallenged.
     
  19. Jon Jon

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    Members of the community certainly can be racist.
     
  20. JaimeGaye

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    Not only can we be racist we can be bigoted as well.
    No fems, only straight acting, masculine or don't bother, no sissies, I only do butch girls, I only do fem girls, no fatties...