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Is talking cheating?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Ezra25, Jul 31, 2017.

  1. Ezra25

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    Hello,
    I am a 25 year old musician with one of the coolest girlfriends ever but I have one problem. I get lonely. You see, my girlfriend is not only the coolest but she is also very ambitious, which in turn causes her to work a lot. We live together but most of the time its jus me waiting on her to come home only for her to fall asleep on me. I miss talking, I miss flirting and staying up all night planning the future. I miss smiling, so I got the brilliant idea to make some new gay friends but I just can't shake the feeling that she wouldn't approve of me chatting with girls online or on apps and stuff. I don't wanna make her mad but at the same time I wanna have fun.
     
  2. iliketolift1

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    I dont think theres a problem with talking to others strictly platonically and as friends online. But flirting with others whether it be online or in real life while in a relationship is cheating in my book. If you know its going to upset her and you are committed to her you really shouldn't even be thinking of flirting with others. Not cool.

    If you feel like you aren't getting enough attention from her I think thats something you should take up with your gf. Wouldn't you rather talk it out than emotionally cheat (thats what it is in my opinion) on her? If you arent smiling in your relationship anymore there might be a problem.

    If you are talking specifically just to meet friends with no other agenda it should be fine though, why dont you just tell your gf?
     
  3. Ezra25

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    #3 Ezra25, Jul 31, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2017
  4. silverhalo

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    Why don't you talk to your girlfriend about the fact you are lonely and want to make friends and see what she says. I mean it depends what kind of apps. I wouldn't imagine she would want you to join any dating apps. Maybe you could look at meetup.com and find a social activity not geared around dating where you could make friends. I mean I talk to lots of people on here and my girlfriend has no problem with that but then this is just a friendly forum.
     
    Lynz likes this.
  5. Lynz

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    Hiya!

    I agree with talking to your girlfriend. I didn't tell my wife I had joined this, she found out, went a tad ape-shit. So I let her read my posts, she calmed, likes when I tell her I'm on here chatting now, because she works a lot too. She likes to read the advice I get too.

    Talkkkk to her. Be open and honest. Maybe she doesn't realise you miss your time with her. Maybe you'll get extra cuddles from telling her :slight_smile:

    Past that, I was disowned by my parents in my teens, so I get a lot of times where I get like, really down-lonely, I really do recommend finding stuff u like doing on your own, learn to enjoy "me time". Took me years, but I'm getting there. Mostly Harry Potter... but yeah :grin:
     
  6. Creativemind

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    Only if you are flirting or engaging in sexual chats.
     
    #6 Creativemind, Jul 31, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2017
  7. Gravity

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    I have to agree with the other posters - even if you do make other friends, it won't change what you miss about your relationship. If you've talked with your girlfriend about this before, but to no avail, try again. If she realizes the effect this is having on you, maybe she'll be willing to try to approach things from a different angle (like scheduling a "date night" into the week or something).

    As far as meeting other LGBT folks, maybe there is a community center nearby you could look for or volunteer at - that way you'd have something to go out and participate in, and you wouldn't have to worry about finding the right app and/or dodging people who are looking to date more than find friends. :slight_smile:
     
  8. Awesome

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    This is a question to ask your girlfriend.
     
  9. Twist

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    I think this is something you need to talk with your girlfriend about.

    I also think if you are worrying that you're doing something wrong and worrying that if your girlfriend would be hurt by something you're doing... then you're probably right and are doing something wrong.

    That said... There is a difference between talking, and what is called "emotional infidelity". I think it might be helpful for you to look up the latter.
     
  10. OGS

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    In general I think if your gut reaction is to hide it from your partner you're cheating--even if it's just a conversation. On the other hand if you are able to tell your partner about having sex with other people, not cheating.