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Is she using me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Firefly10, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. Firefly10

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    So I've been seeing this girl for a little over a month now. We are pretty much inseparable. We talk and text several times a day. We see each other about 4 times a week. She broke up with her ex about 5 months ago. But he recently started messaging her and then once again he disappeared on her.

    She wants all of my attention. She gladly goes with me everywhere. I do so much for her, always picking things up at the store for her, taking out trash, buying her food and sometimes dinner and dates. But our relationship is so platonic and i want more. I tried to kiss her the other night and she hid under her jacket. She said it wasn't a rejection but a not right now.

    She says she is confused and doesn't want to jump into the deep end as she did that before and got burned. She says her heart has a hole because of the last relationship and him contacting her again and dropping her. She never got closure. It sounds like she wants a relationship with me just not right now because we both aren't ready for that yet, I just want to date. I am still living with my ex.

    I told her I wanted to date others and she said she doesn't want to hold me back. I need the physical piece that she can't give me right now. Yet when I told her I might have a date soon she gave me a sad pouty face. I know she really doesn't want me to date.

    I have feelings for her and really don't want to date anyone but her but I crave the physical touch. I know she is loving my undivided attention but it's hard to keep up when I want more. I sometimes feel like she's using me for all the attention because she won't give more. Am i being selfish in dating others? Should I wait for her or should i move on?
     
  2. silverhalo

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    It's a really tough situation because there is a part of you that thinks if you just give it a bit more time and be patient it will be worth it but then there is another part of you that thinks you could wait 6 months and still be in exactly the same place. Has she ever been in a same sex relationship?
     
  3. Firefly10

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    No she hasn't ever been in a same sex relationship. She has only ever been with men and is completely fed up with them.

    The last couple of nights she has sat closer to me on the couch facing me. Close enough that our elbows touched considering she is afraid of touch. There was a small pillow between us that she cuddled with. We both fell asleep like that watching a movie. I have noticed she has been more cuddly with her kid and cat this week. Hoping that projects towards me too.
     
  4. silverhalo

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    How do you feel about the situation?
     
  5. Firefly10

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    Sometimes i feel like she using me. And other times I feel like she genuinely wants to be with me. I am confused because I think she should already be over her ex but she says she still has things to work through. I feel like she's being honest with me but then also scared that she is using this as an escape as she is not a very direct person at all.

    Her last relationship was for 8 to 9 months. It's been about 5 months since they broke up. He then tried to come back in her life at the same time I met her. Then he ended up hurting her all over again. So she tells me she needs time to work through all that and she will let me know when she is ready to pursue something more with me. I really want to believe that is the truth and she isn't just friend zoning me.
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Yeah I can understand that, maybe just keeping your options open would help you.
     
  7. plainoldme

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    Have you ever thought that you living with your ex might be holding her back?