My gf isn't the most touchy feely person in the world, but for me she always seemed to make an exception. She would sit touching me when we ate, hold my hand when we were sitting watching TV, and while we sleep, she would cuddle me on the couch, and wouldn't mind stopping to kiss me at random points of the day. But for the past week now, she hasn't done any of that except for holding my hand when we sleep. We started getting intimate the other night, got pretty into it, and then suddenly she wanted to stop. She said she had a bad feeling about having sex right then. We've only been together a few months and both admitted that we haven't had feelings like this for anyone before. We love each other. Met families over the holidays. All of it. And suddenly, nothing. I spent 2 days with her and it was more like hanging out with a friend than spending time with my gf. After the sex issue, she tried kissing me in the morning a little, but it all caught me off guard. I'm scared that she's going to end it. I'm not ready to lose her..please help, am I crazy? I know I need to talk to her and that's the plan tonight. I just don't know if my feelings are valid or not.
Desires and needs for physical intimacy will naturally fluctuate over the long term in the course of the relationship - due to a lot of factors (the excitement of meeting someone, stress at certain periods of life, negotiating rough patches in life/the relationship as a couple, and so forth). But, a sudden drastic change is likely happening for a reason. It might even be external to the relationship - it could be a seasonal thing, could have to do with a suddenly homophobic family member "revealing" themselves, or who knows. Regardless, you're right. Have a calm talk in a neutral place and see if she's willing to open up to you about what's happening.
Is it both your first relationship? Sometimes I think if you've never had a relationship before, being constantly in the "we're a couple" state of mind can be exhausting. It's easier to just act like friends. Usually, taking space can help, because then when you reunite the sort of "tension" comes back again.
