Is porn cheating?

Yes, but when someone says "he was cheating on his girlfriend" they don't mean that he pulled a fast one during a high-stakes round of Pictionary. More importantly, and more relevant to the OP's situation, is that if you haven't yet discussed the issue of porn with your significant other I don't think it can be considered a violation of trust to use it.

 

I can't speak for everybody, but I think there are vague assumptions you can make. If you start dating a guy, and you bring along another guy to your next sexual encounter because "I like some variety", it'd be rather disingenious to say "Hey, you never said I couldn't.". That said, I think it's nearly a given that guys will masturbate, and it's at least not a surprise at all to find out that a guy uses porn to jerk off to. If it does cause issues, it isn't the jerking off or the porn so much as choosing that over your boyfriend. Jerking off to porn an hour before going to his place to have sex? Not a good idea.

If you think it might be an issue, just let him know you look at porn. You can even toss it in to casualconversation. "I got that pic you sent me. Almost saved it in my porn folder - that would've been embarrassing."

Lex

 

I have to agree with both Joey and Lex.

I didn't think that I would care about porn-watching since I consider myself a sexually liberated individual (as pretentious as that sounds at my age, bahaha), but just today this happened:

I was sitting with my boyfriend in a group of friends, and I ended up starting a story about how "Just turned 18!" porn grosses me out. I said frankly that I was an avid porn watcher until I started my relationship with my boyfriend, when he replied, "Well I still watch it." And suddenly my heart kind of ruptured—against my 'sexually liberated' logic, I had an instinctive feeling of hurt and betrayal. I would have felt better had I known about it, but even when my boyfriend said he didn't do it a lot, and that the porn was mostly just shirtless men, I still felt insecure. Although I wouldn't define it as cheating per se, I had to discuss with him the way it made me feel. As his boyfriend, I wanted to be his one and only—and knowing he could have eyes for other men made me feel insecure and unwanted.

The moral of the story is: my boyfriend and I not only had differing views on porn-watching, but I also had different views until I experienced it. The key, I think, is for the couple itself to have open communication and discuss boundaries in terms of cheating.

Useful anecdote of the day over. ^^

 

I'm gonna go with yes.......unless....you make it yourself!:badgrin:

 

i would say no, even if someone said they didn't want me to do it i'd say if i did i'd be breaking their trust but definitely not cheating. Plus as mentioned if someone tells me i can't look at porn i'm going to tell them they are stupid. If your in a relationship and your horny and the person isn't around i don't see porn being that big an issue.
they don't want to have sex then- porn and masturbation to tide u over seems cool to me also

it is another thing however if someone wants to watch porn while having sex or something like that. In that case i'd say they are basically saying "i just want you for sex and your not hot enough so i need porn" in which case they can jerk off and wash their own cum rags. (true story my mom told me about how she did this to my dad when he wanted to do it xD)

but also i don't care if your in an "open" relationship if you fuck someone while you are in a relationship with someone else even if it is mutual it is cheating in my mind. I view it just how i view girls that say "well he cheated with me on a guy so it's ok" and just how i think girls that do shit with other girls when they are dating a guy are still cheating even if it's just for the sexual thing.

but this is coming from someone who holds monogamy as incredibly commendable and important in a truly healthy loving relationship.


but as mentioned whatever a couple decides is up to them. If you want to have a threesome as a couple and that is cool with both of you then whatever, i just don't think it will end well. I can see it maybe happening 1 time to spice stuff up but if it happens a lot or the "open" aspect stays in effect i feel one partner will find something new and move on instead of focusing on the partner they have.