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Is my friend gay or attracted to me?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Gorgon, Sep 8, 2016.

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  1. Gorgon

    Gorgon Guest

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    I'm mostly straight (technically bi-curious) and I have a friend I assumed was straight.
    He's actually really cute.

    We were wrestling around, I pinned him down and started tickling his armpits (he's extremely ticklish and says he hates being tickled).
    He started laughing hysterically and begging me to stop, the poor guy was turning red and I was gonna stop, but a buddy who was watching said "look he's getting a hard on, keep tickling him" (I couldn't see as I was sitting on his stomach).
    I kept tickling him and developed raging boner, he started having difficulty breathing and I had to stop.

    He was really pissed off, mad and embarrassed afterwords. but I'm sure he knows we were just playing with him.
    Is he attracted to me?
    Is he gay?
    Does he have a tickling fetish?
    Why did he get an erection?
    He's kinda upset about it atm and does not want to talk about it.
    We try not to tease him too much about it (he turns bright red if you bring it up, which is so cute :grin:).

    I'm so curious.
    What do you guys think?
     
    #1 Gorgon, Sep 8, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2016
  2. Barbatus

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    Hi,

    Just some thoughts. Have you tried apologising to him? It may just be that you took a joke too far and made him feel uncomfortable? Just from this one event I don't think you can judge whether he is gay or not - erections aren't always something that can be controlled especially if physical contact is involved - it doesn't necessarily mean anything (I assuming you didn't get an erection as well but you may have had an uncontrollable erection before). Has he done anything else to suggest that he is gay and/or likes you? You'll have to decide if you want to speak to him about it properly or not - for now it might be an idea to send him a text apologising for taking a joke further than he was comfortable with.

    Btw do you have any feelings for him that you would want to take further? If not I would suggest (and it is a suggestion) that you just stick with an apology for now. Hope this helps but others here might have alternative suggestions.
     
  3. Quem

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    I don't see anything in this story that indicates him being attracted to you, nor him being gay. You (most likely) know that people get erections in strange situations.. You were sitting on top of him, I don't think it's unlikely for someone to get an erection from that.

    He might be upset because he thinks/knows that you know about him getting an erection. I can see why some would find that quite embarrassing. Moreover, he asked you to stop, and you didn't stop.. So again, not too strange for him to be upset. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    About apologising, I'm actually not sure. I don't know the dynamics of your friendship with him really, so I have no idea whether an apology is necessary. =] If you want to apologise, then do so.

    What I find more interesting is the fact that you're so interested in all of this. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Say he does like you, would it matter? =]
     
  4. Gorgon

    Gorgon Guest

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    I did tell him I was sorry for causing any embarrassment I for him. He just grumbled "you tickled the %#@ out of me!"
    I was only trying to make him laugh not make him cum in his pants.
    I'm not the most observant person, but looking back he always has been more shy and nervous when he's around me and he's a very confident guy.

    It is important cause if he likes me because he's a nice guy and I don't want to tease him (too much:wink: or lead him on. He's cute, but I don't like him like that.

    I wonder how he'll react if I tickle him again? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. Quantumreality

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    Well Gorgon,

    You don't say how old you or your 'wrestling buddy' are, but you sound fairly young. Ever heard the phrase attributed to horny guys (usually teens and 20's) that they get an erection if the wind blows from the wrong direction? Basically, you can't read anything into his erection if both of you are young.

    Since you say you "don't like him like that," it would only be cruel of you to do it again, don't you think? Especially since you already apologized for doing it once.

    Take Care.

    ---------- Post added 8th Sep 2016 at 07:47 PM ----------

    But, if you're really honest with yourself, do you maybe have at least a little crush on him?
     
  6. Aspen

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    Do not tickle people who hate to be tickled. If someone says they don't like something, don't do it. Don't do it to try to get a laugh out of them. Don't do it because you think it's funny. It's not. It doesn't sound like you're being a great friend.

    Like others have said, it's pretty impossible to speculate his sexuality or if he's attracted to you just based on this situation. It could have been any number of things—including coincidence.
     
  7. I'm gay

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    You doth protest too much, me thinks.

    If you're really a friend, be honest with him. And apologize.
     
  8. Barbatus

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    Hey Gorgon,

    I agree with Quantumreality. You can't draw any conclusions from this one incident and it doesn't seem like he has done anything else to suggest that he is gay or likes you.

    I think not tickling him again is a good idea as it makes him uncomfortable and doing it again might make your friendship untenable- it also shows a basic respect for him. Moreover, as Quantumreality said, if you don't like him in a romantic sense then it would be cruel to try and repeat the incident.

    If you do like him - and it is a bit confusing because you say you don't and then you suggest trying give him an erection again - then you need to figure out what you want from him, whether friendship or more.
     
  9. Gorgon

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    I realize that the body has numerous erogenous zones and that any stimuli may be interpreted as sexual stimuli by the body, however I still think it's pretty unusual for someone to get a erection or orgasm from being tickled.
    I realize that stranger things occur, I read about an antidepressant, clomipramine which has a rare side-effect among women who take it were they have an orgasm whenever they sneeze.
    I think it's normal to be curious about stuff like this.

    I do enjoy hearing him laugh :slight_smile:
    Is that so bad?

    If I tickle him again, I wouldn't do it to the extent I did last time (he said he stomach hurt from laughing so hard).
    I just want to get him admit wether I turn him on or not.

    I don't have a crush on him.
    However it would be understandable for another guy to have a crush on him because he's: handsome, intelligent, funny, charming, successful, doesn't take himself seriously......

    He's the more physical one, you can't wrestle around with someone and then get mad when they tickle you.
     
  10. Quem

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    You didn't include this bit of information in your first post, it does make the situation different.

    I'm personally more surprised why you still think of tickling him, after what you've done to him.. I think you should ask whether he wants to be tickled by you, whether he minds it. From you're saying, it doesn't seem like he wants you to tickle him, yet you're still wanting to tickle him. That's not nice, you know.. I'm sorry, but I agree with Aspen, it doesn't sound like you're being a great friend. =\
     
  11. Gorgon

    Gorgon Guest

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    No, I wouldn't want to take it that far again, but there has to be a compromise, to say I can never tickle him again is extreme, I think I just have to be more cautious about it.
     
  12. Quem

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    I think it's up to him to decide whether you can tickle him.. You should just ask. And if you wish to tickle him still (or want a compromise), then explain to him why you want that. Just have an open and honest conversation with him about it. =]
     
  13. Barbatus

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    Like Quem says it's up to him whether he lets you tickle him - or perhaps less harshly, it has to be something you both mutually agree to. If that mutuality is absent then you shouldn't do it.

    What is more confusing though is that you say you aren't romantically interested in him ("I don't have a crush on him.") yet you still say "I just want to get him admit wether I turn him on or not." Why does it matter if you don't want to take things further? If he's given you no other sign that he likes you as more than a friend, and as you aren't interested, its unclear why you are pursuing this.

    Perhaps you should just leave things as they are minus the tickling (unless he says he is happy for you do it again)?
     
  14. I'm gay

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    Hmmm.

    It seems like you're not really getting what we're saying here. Let me try it this way:

    I think maybe you're attracted to him, and in a sexual way. I think maybe that bothers you somewhat (why else are you on this site, but that maybe you're questioning your sexuality?). It seems like it fascinates you that he got an erection (and maybe ejaculated - I'm not sure from your post). You want to know if he's into you or not. So, with this information, you still say that you want to be able to tickle him because that's a way you can test the waters without opening up yourself to be vulnerable.

    This is sort of a strange game you're playing in an effort to see if he likes you or not. Why not just try some honesty instead of playing the tickle game.

    Just my opinion.
     
  15. Psaurus918

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    You sound like my friend. He's straight but knows I'm gay and like him and he constantly does things to try and turn me on (tickling me, tackling me to the ground, rubbing my head)

    Also I'm extremely quiet, shy and nervous around my friend because I do like him. It sucks because its ruined our friendship...

    If he's gay and trusts you he will come out in his own time...
     
  16. Gorgon

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    I think you're on to something.

    I don't feel sexually attracted to him but there's something about the idea of him getting aroused by me that I find incredibly fascinating.

    I'll just ask him how he feels.
     
  17. ABeautifulMind

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    Dude... you really are not being a good friend. I dont think I have ever had to bite my tongue so hard.

    You are behaving like the little boy sitting behind the girl with pigtails pulling on them incessantly. You clearly have a crush on him. Dont take my word for it. Dont take the word of almost every single other poster on this thread. Take your own word for it. IDK if it is conscious or subconscious, but have you read your posts? Here are the highlights:

    1:
    I do enjoy hearing him laugh
    Is that so bad?

    **There are a lot of gay/bi boys here buddy. We know how it feels to hear our crush laugh :wink:

    2:
    I just want to get him admit wether I turn him on or not.

    **whether this is to be able to determine sexuality, or is a dominance thing, it still requires sexual attraction on you part towards him to make sense.

    3:
    I don't have a crush on him.
    However it would be understandable for another guy to have a crush on him because he's: handsome, intelligent, funny, charming, successful, doesn't take himself seriously......

    **Enough said.

    4:
    I think you're on to something.
    I don't feel sexually attracted to him but there's something about the idea of him getting aroused by me that I find incredibly fascinating.

    **That fascination is probably hormones and attraction.

    5:
    It is important cause if he likes me because he's a nice guy and I don't want to tease him (too much) :wink: or lead him on. He's cute, but I don't like him like that.
    I wonder how he'll react if I tickle him again? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    **See now this is one of the more "incriminating." This guy clearly HATES being tickled, and yet you seem to desperately want to tickle him again? This sounds like us gay/bi boys and our crushes AGAIN.

    6:
    I'm mostly straight (technically bi-curious) and I have a friend I assumed was straight.
    He's actually really cute.

    **See this piece is the one I believe reveals the "secret" of this thread. I think you're terrified to admit your attracted to him, because you assume he is straight, so before you will even admit it to yourself, you want to find out if he is gay. Which is why your main goal with this thread was to ask:

    8:
    Is he attracted to me?
    Is he gay?

    **Notice, not only asking is he gay, but is he attracted to you.




    I dont mean to come off as an asshole, like I am. However I only see two possiblities. Either you are hardcore crushing, in which case I am trying to make sure you realize that before you blow your chances. OR you are harassing and tormenting an innocent kid. Honestly, if you have feelings for him , you should stop tickling him, and try talking to him. If you dont have feelings for him, you should feel ashamed for doing something so goddamn degrading and embarrassing to a friend that you then make fun of for what you did. Then do your best to make sure it doesnt happen anymore, especially if you want to keep that friend. Everyone says that they hate being tickled while being tickled, but after the scene you described, this kid most likely REALLY does now, if he didnt already. I hate the idea of giving you more ammunition, however I think this needs to be said. These types of interactions where you are bullying him could seriously scar a kid. These are the types of things kids kill themselves over. I would hope that this wasnt enough to push a kid over the edge, HOWEVER you wont know when it is enough to push him over until its too fucking late. If you care about this friend in anyway, please stop. How would you feel if because of all this your class found out he was gay and made his life a living hell, meanwhile your "technically bi curious" label is tucked safely away. How are you going to feel selling your fellow LGBT "friend" down the river if that happens? What if that leads to his suicide? How would you feel then about your silly little tickling game? Sometimes kids just dont think.

    Like I said, not trying to be an asshole, really not, just trying to open your eyes to the real world. Sorry to everyone for the long post, but after that eleven year old hung himself, seeing shit like this makes me longwinded (long fingered?)
     
  18. bookreader

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    All I have to say is PREACH!!!
     
  19. Gorgon

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    Wow, you really wrote a lot,I must admit you make several good points.
    Clearly, I need to examine my feelings and talk to him.

    He's my friend and I wouldn't want to toy with his feelings and I'm not going to bully or be mean to him, I'll support him regardless of his sexuality, I've known him for years and I really like him.
    I don't know what this has to do with suicide.
     
  20. bookreader

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    I think what he meant was that the tickling is referring to the choking game. People die from playing the game and a 11 year old boy was a victim.
     
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