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Is it possible to break up with someone and not go through depression phase?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. Driftr

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    I've never been in a LTR so bear with me lol. I was just curious about the whole phase after a breakup.

    Is it possible or even healthy if someone doesn't go through the whole depression phase (you know, crying to break-up songs or tissues and chick flicks) of a break up - even if the relationship was a long and strong one? Or does that only happen if the relationship was short?

    And if you don't cry or become even a little depressed after a break up, does that make you heartless or something - even if you put your all in the relationship?

    I don't really know what I'd do after a breakup. Lately I'm optimistic though about so many things, so I feel like, even if I gave it everything, I would just remember that there are plenty of fish out there and I might find someone better and that would be enough to skip that phase. Is it just too blunt to think that?
     
    #1 Driftr, Jan 5, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2016
  2. europeanguy

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    id say its probably a normal reaction, but then again this is coming from someone who could be considered cold or heartless. for some reason human suffering and this sort of thing dont phase me, no sadness not even a flicker. hell id love to know the answer to your question
     
  3. AKTodd

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    Yes, it's quite possible. A lot depends on the dynamic of the relationship and the circumstances of the breakup. And just because you react one way to one breakup doesn't necessarily mean you will react the same way to another one.

    Todd
     
  4. Andrew99

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  5. thepandaboss

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    I think so. It's more common than you think. I dated a girl for almost three years when I was in high school. By the time she finally broke up with me, I was actually relieved. Little sad to see it go but we were long distance and very platonic so I felt like I finally had a chance to really explore and meet new people.
     
  6. HuskyPup

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    It is. I briefly tried going out with a girl in college who was, one might say, brash, manipulative and histrionic, though also talented and funny. It was this phase where finding a bf seemed too hopeless such that I had one of these 'maybe it'd be easier not to be gay' moments. But after a few weeks, I'll have to say that I have seldom experienced as much joy in my life than that breakup.

    So yes, it can be wonderful, like a great weight is lifted.
     
    #6 HuskyPup, Jan 5, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2016
  7. Browncoat

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    Yeah, don't get emotionally attached.
     
  8. MsAnchor

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    I think it depends on the person and how fast they are with digesting change and their confidence in their decisions
    I think i m one of those who need time with the movies and tissues and family time
     
  9. Berru

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    I definitely think it's possible. Like others have said, it depends on how the relationship was.

    Seven months ago, I broke up with an emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive person. Not a single tear have I shred.

    Sure, I sometimes think about the relationship and feel a little sad that things didn't work out better for the both of us, but I wouldn't call it being depressed.
    I'm glad it's over.

    I definitely don't think it makes a person heartless to not grieve a broken relationship. However, if a person goes through an entire life not shedding a single tear at lost loves, I might start to wonder if they've really ever been in love, but that's just me.
     
  10. JonSomebody

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    The way I see is that would have a lot to do with the situation and status of that particular relationship. Many times if you have developed feelings for the other person involved, then more than likely, a depression phase would exist. However, if you have been hurt by this person or better yet, if the relationship has not progressed or grown then there will nothing to be depressed about.
     
  11. EleanorHunter

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    I think everybody goes through some kind of depression phase, even if they show it in a different way than listening to Adele and eating an entire container of chocolate ice cream. :lol:

    If it was really a bad relationship and you don't care about the other person, I guess the depression phase would consist of thoughts like "Man why do I have to have relationships like this that suck" rather than loss over the person. But that's my theory anyways, that everyone goes through some kind of a depression phase.
     
  12. myheartincheck

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    If the relationship ended on horrible terms or other various factors, it can be a relief to break up. I'm glad I got out of one long ago... it was about time and it was abusive. I never looked back.

    Although, I have cried a lot over one girl I never even dated, so the reverse is true too. I think it just depends on mitigating circumstances.
     
  13. Secrets5

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    I think it depends on how the dopamine levels in your brain react.
     
  14. SkyWinter

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    If you have feelings for them and they break up with you, then yeah, you will be depressed. How intense your feelings are for them is how depressed you'll be.

    If you are the one breaking up with them, depending on how you've treated them, I would say you will probably feel more anxiety and guilt.

    If you are breaking up with someone because they have been horrible and abusive, then breaking up with them will probably leave you feeling relieved.
     
  15. biguy8

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    I broke up with my ex, yet I was still pretty depressed afterwards. He accused me of not being fair towards him relating to an issue(it's a long story). I replayed the relationship in my head and what I could have done better. We did have our "relationship" song, and he had different quirks that were memorable. Ultimately, he could not commit enough time on me and may have been cheating. You do have to know when to cut and run sometimes. I still hurt from it, mainly because my ex is now dating someone I considered a friend at one time.
     
  16. Reikokuna

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    I have had depression since I was 11, so when I split with my ex of 8 years I never really noticed a difference. But I doubt it is actually possible to not go through the whole depressed/sad/upset phase, well on the inside at least, but I think it is possible for your brain to fool you into thinking it is okay while shoving the true feelings away.
     
  17. Kwazulunatal54

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    I never experienced the typical "depression" phrase whenever I breakup or pretty much with anything. Instead, what I go through is the "denial" phrase in which I purposely or intentionally forget the person's existence by flooding myself with other activities with other friends or hobbies. Gradually, with time, I do forget them, but their names come up in my head from time to time. Kind of hurts, so I indulge myself back with distractions. Is this a form of depression or something else ?
     
  18. CJliving

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    I've never really gotten like that after a break up. Both my previous relationships were long-term (3+ years) and I ended both of them. But both times I was protecting something more important to me than my relationship and both relationships had problems I didn't want to carry into the future.

    Depends on the why and how of the ending I imagine.
     
  19. Bolt35

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    i think everyone's way of coping with a relationship is different. You can never tell, whether you're optimistic or pessimistic in your point of views. The only way that you won't get depressed about it, is if you have been in a abusive relationship and wanting to get out of it. other than that, i think it's a normal reaction. It just might even mean that the relationship you had with the person was genuine and not really just a farce. I think even when moving forward with new relationship, you'll be stronger than the last one. depends on how you look at it really.
     
  20. trojan

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    I get totally depressed, like for a year or so. or more.