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Is it okay to come out to one parent before the other?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by callistia, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. callistia

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    I’m planning on coming out to my parents within this next month. I’m thinking that I’ll probably have a face-to-face conversation with them. I was wondering if it’s fine if I come out to one of my parents before I come out to the other. Just based on some things that my mom has said recently, I think she’d be supportive (and she might even suspect that I’m not straight), and I’d feel more comfortable talking to her than to my dad. I can’t truly speculate about my dad’s reaction because I don’t know what his opinions are. If I could come out to both of them at the same time, that would be great, but it’s more likely that I’d have to come out to them one at a time. At the same time, I don’t want my dad to be upset that my mom knew before him. I would want to come out to him very soon after coming out to my mom, but I still want to avoid the possibility of upsetting him if at all possible.
     
  2. Bee12

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    Hey callistia :slight_smile:

    I'm in the exact same situation as you as I've been contemplating just telling my Mum first just on the basis that I think she'd take it better. I think it's totally OK if you choose to tell just one of them at first. If you feel more comfortable with talking to just your Mum and you think that she would take it in a better way, you could definitely start by telling her. If you tell your father later and if he is understanding of your situation, he shouldn't have to take it in a bad way. Ultimately, it's your 'coming out' and you need to do it however you feel most comfortable. I'm hoping that it all works out for you :slight_smile:
     
    skittlz likes this.
  3. wrndnwun

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    Yeah, I agree with bee12, just do whatever is comfortable for you. I came out to my mom long before I came out to my dad and finally she ended up pressuring me to come out to him as well, but in the end it's up to you. If you're close to both your parents which it sounds like you are, then you can always test the waters and see how they react regarding lgbt but it might be nice for you to be able to talk to your mom first and you could even tell her that you want to tell your dad but you aren't sure how he's going to react. I'm sure she would be able to help you understand what to do, and in the end he'll understand whatever you choose to do. Best of luck :slight_smile: