I'm not sure about my sexuality yet, I feel like I'm attracted towards all genders, boys included, but I'm concerned. I'm afraid liking other men would make me more feminine and less of a trans man. Hell I'm insecure when using pink post-it notes, I feel like everything is a threat to my gender identity.
absolutely! and it's not uncommon, either. a gay or bisexual man is no less of a man - whether they're trans or cis. being a trans man, there are absolutely no different rules regarding to these things than there are for cis man. you're a man - regardless of what your sexuality is. Or whether you use pink post-its or not, for that matter! It's quite common to feel a pressure to sort of have to compensate for the fact that you weren't assigned male at birth, but gender expression is incredibly diverse and it's very well possible to be any kind of men, whether you're trans or cis. Want to be a bodybuilder whose idea of a good time is going out and comparing muscle definition over a bunch of beers? Go ahead! Want to wear a dress and dye your hair pink and take ballet classes? No problemo. Want to do anything in between those two extremes? You do you! None of these expressions alter your gender - because your gender is inside of you, in your heart or gut or mind or however you wish to describe it, and not in the expression using things that are often only gendered because society (and too often, marketing) decided so.
Transgender people can have any sexuality. Because gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things, it would be absurd to say that in order to be “truly trans” you have to be straight. Even though that is often the opinion that is perpetuated by the media. It does not make you less of a man to like men, just like it doesn’t make cis-men any less of a man to be gay. It took me a very long time to come to terms with being both gay and trans. For years, it was drilled into me that to be a “real man” or even “really trans” then I had to like girls. I tried to force myself to find that attraction, but it just wasn’t there. The reason I thought that was because I had a lot of internalized homophobia. I thought, it would be okay for me to be a straight man because then I’d be accepted by society. But it was not okay to be gay, let alone gay and trans. At the end of the day it is useless to try and conform yourself to what society thinks you should be. You can only be yourself, and accepting that will help you learn to love yourself much more than the superficial acceptance that comes from society or homophobic people.
real quick, gender and sexuality are not linked. so if your a straight trans man, likes females, gay, likes males, or Bi/pan etc and like everyone. it does not devalue your gender.
Hey there! I'm genderfluid/bigender. I'm AFAB but lean heavily towards trans masculine. I'm married to my husband and I am not attracted to women at all. Men (cis and trans) is all that I'm attracted to. Probably more so when I'm in full guy mode.
I don’t identify myself as male, but anyway: to h*ll with it, we’re all a little gay. Use all the pink post-it’s you want. Grow your hair out. Sing songs as loudly and aggressively or as high-pitched and delicately as you want. Does this change your sexual orientation? Does it make you completely gay? Are you no longer male? Pink post-it notes, long hair, sparkly gel pens, liking to sing or draw or paint your nails, none of that makes you any less of a man. Actions should not define you. And neither should words. You go, dude!
