Since Covid began, I've resumed an old habit: biting my fingernails. For most of my life, I was ashamed of how my nails looked. But I haven't been too concerned this time because I don't think that they really look bitten. My wife insists that it's obvious, that anyone could tell that I bite my nails. I (mistakenly?) believe that my nails just look short. (See attached images.) It's starting to weigh on me—I don't want people to think I bite my nails, especially because some people make negative assumptions about nail biters. Anyway, I would love some objective feedback on this. Whom do think is right? Thanks for your feedback!
people generally dont pay much attention to other’s fingernails, and i believe that, even if they did, it’d be dumb to point that type of stuff out and judge others for it. i bite my fingers constantly (they look practically mangled) and nobody has ever pointed it out. dont worry about it, friend.
Hi @Embarassed I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this. How did you previously manage to stop biting your nails? If it bothers you, could you try to do that again? I’d also be interested to know what assumptions you think people make about nail biters? As @humanm says, I can’t say that I often notice another person’s nails, but if I did, I think “it looks like they bite their nails” would be all that would go through my mind. Were you given a hard time for biting your nails as a child?
Thanks for your support, Humanmoth and Daydreams. As a kid, it never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with it. I actually liked how bitten nails looked, both on other kids and on me. Nor did my parents give me that hard of a time about it. But, in high school, a couple of friends started telling me how disgusting and unhealthy it was. Over the next few years, I heard that message elsewhere, including that it made me look insecure and immature. I began to feel really embarrassed about it, and my embarrassment was compounded by my feeling powerless to quit. I would hide my hands so people couldn't see my nails. I finally did quit by adapting the steps of the 12-step program. Right now, I'm feeling conflicted. To be sure, I don't want to feel embarrassed again by people seeing my bitten nails. (I'm too insecure to handle having people think I'm insecure.) But, at the present moment, I'm enjoying biting my nails. It is a self-indulgence I'm affording myself. I know I can quit again, and I will, as soon as I think other people can tell. That's why I'm trying to gauge whether it's become obvious. I wish more people, like you, didn't find it unattractive. But, as I can see from comments online, many people find it a huge turn-off. Maybe I shouldn't care what other people think. But I do.
If it really bothers you, then you can try and go to a nail salon and tell them about it (lots of men go to nail salons too). There are nail gels, that taste bad and it makes you not want to bite your nails. You could also try and use a hand cream. Hand creams smell good, but the taste is not. From the pics I see, that your nails don't look too bad. I have seen some awful looking nails and yours are not awful at all. People really wouldn't even notice that. Nail biting is considered to be a bad habit, because it's damaging to the skin around the nail and there is a risk of infection and it can be harmful for your teeth and spreads germs.
I think most people care what other people think, at least at one time or another. Don’t beat yourself up about that. It sounds like you have a plan to quit, which you know works, and that’s a good start. I wonder whether there is another self-indulgence that you could swap nail biting for? Something healthy and not harmful, of course. I’m not suggesting anything reckless! Perhaps you could treat yourself to something for each week that you don’t bite your nails?
My friend cured her nail biting by getting nail strengthening stuff to put on her nails which had a particularly bitter taste. That way, if she attempted to bite them she got the horrible taste and stopped. Also the strengthening formula made her nails grow stronger so they stopped splitting and breaking, which also resisted her urge to bite them.
I stopped biting my nails without meaning to. A few years ago, my doctor switched me to Paxil. A couple weeks later, I noticed my hands and saw I hadn’t bitten anything! I guess that showed the Paxil had an unintended consequence!
