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Is it normal to miss being straight?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Pinkerton, Apr 23, 2017.

  1. Pinkerton

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    I've actually been thinking about this for a while and I want to know what other people think of it. Even though I am fine with being bisexual, I still can't help but feel like I miss certain aspects of being straight at times. There aren't really any struggles with being straight that I can think of although I could be possibly forgetting at least one, but because straight is seen as the norm, you don't have to worry about the things that the LGBT community goes through. I worry about my safety due to being bi and occasionally a couple of the awful bi stereotypes go through my head. Most of the time I just roll my eyes at them, but sometimes they can get to me. Mainly the “What if I’m hiding the fact that I’m just gay.” which makes me feel especially worse on a day where I think about guys more. There's just this stuff I feel that I wish I didn't feel and I didn't have to worry about that stuff when I was straight. I already have other problems, so the struggles I have with bisexuality isn't really helping.

    But to my main point, is it normal to miss being straight at times? Or not even miss being straight in general, but just aspects of it? Has anyone else been in this situation before? If you have I'd like to hear about it.
     
  2. Eldrher

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    I think it's normal. I certainly miss it. "You're just being greedy" "pick one gender" and all the rest of it gets tiring. But at the end of the day, if I was straight, I'd get hell for being gay when I transition, whereas it'll stay the same. It's sad that people can't be more lgbtq accepting
     
  3. Elysian

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    Honestly, I get you on this and it's something I'm trying to resolve myself, but what I'm worried about is my missing being straight is probably tinged and more akin with self-loathing. I think that my "missing being straight" is more an aspect of "why did I have to be bi?". Like you said; the normality of being straight would be great- the ability to live within the proscribed boundaries consigned to us and live according to a "normal" (through biological heteronormativity) lifestyle would be great.

    The fact is I've accepted the fact that I've never been straight and that my bisexuality has remained latent within me from my birth- so it's not necessarily me missing being straight- but rather I am envious of the heterosexual perks that aren't afforded to those that live in the LGBT spectrum. And not to have a metaphorical dick-measuring contest but I feel worse about my bisexuality because, not only can I not exist within a single sex attraction paradigm, but I constantly fear that revealing my attraction to both sexes will make potential relationships more difficulty due to the pervading myth of "bisexual greed."
     
  4. guitar

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    To the OP, you might want to read a book called Openly Straight. It's about a gay teen who goes to a new school and goes back into the closet to relive being "straight."
     
  5. HerRainbow

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    For me I think it partly depends on where you are in your coming out process. Immediately after telling family and friends, I missed being straight. That was mainly because suddenly everyone was asking questions that quite honestly I didnt think straight people even had to answer!

    My parents still ask awkward questions but thankfully my friends are really supportive. And even though it is hard at times, I wouldn't take back coming out or being bi :slight_smile:
     
  6. AlexJames

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    Oh hell yes i miss being straight. Well i mean i never was straight - signs were there often from age 11 sixth grade. But like...i miss thinking i was straight, ignoring and repressing the signs, and pretending i was with everyone. Sure i got weird looks if i couldn't fake it well enough, and that was embarrasing.

    OKAY maybe i don't miss it so much as i miss the social aspect. Like...now i'm worried about simple shit. I'm gay and people can be so prejudice and ignorant about it. People at work even - i feel most comfortable at work, yet i fear answering truthfully to the random, innocent question about if i have a boyfriend. Or like when a coworker shares a juicy boyfriend story expecting me to have one to share too. I'm afraid to admit it even to my three favorite supervisors, one of which doesn't act straight in the slightest, all because i'm scared the people i love to see 5 days a week will suddenly hate me for something i can't control.

    Straight people don't have to deal with this. With straight people its normal - heteronormativity. Hell that's why if i ask people i try to ask if they're dating anybody instead of just the opposite gender, cause if i got asked that question i'd at least prefer it to be gender neutral in phrasing.
     
    #6 AlexJames, Apr 23, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2017
  7. Godless

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    I especially miss it, lately. Glad you brought it up. Now I feel normal.
     
  8. Chronos

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    I feel like there are the pros and cons of it. Being able to be part of a community like the LGBT community, being able to date without having to worry about gender, (kissing a guy :3), all pros! If you haven't read my funny story, I earned $20 from being bi! Yeah, not being the heterosexual norm sucks, but why envy being someone else when you can be you! The social repercussions are just something you need to figure out how to deal with, because the prouder you are about it, the less people will be rude about it. That's just my experience, take it as you wish.
     
  9. Creativemind

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    Well, you get more privileges as a straight man, so that could be why. Not to mention it is very difficult to date straight women if you are a bi man; they are probably the most prejudice toward bisexuals.