I went to a queer art class and I'm worried I was socially awkward. I know the guy who ran it from an LGBTQ sports group but I don't know him well. After the class he suggested going for a drink, which I agreed to (along with a few others) because I thought it was just going to be a normal pub. But then he suggested going back to his house to drop out bags and going to one of the noiser gay venues in town. I immediately felt uneasy and it must have shown because he asked me if I was OK with that so I just said I'd better not as I have work the next day. Was I being rude? On one hand I felt I should have pushed myself to go, but then again why should I when I'd already done something 'daring' (for me) by going to a gay art class where I didn't know anyone. And why should I force myself to go to places with loud music (which I've always hated)? I think it's worth noting that although the class had gone OK I was starting to get the same feeling I always get in queer spaces- that I don't belong because I'm not educated or rich or attractive or cool enough to be there. I still feel a bit uneasy when I think of going to someone's house who I don't know well at night :/ I really wanted to be proud of myself for trying not only a new skill but a gay event too, especially as I was the only attendee who didn't come with a group of friends, but now I just feel ashamed for not being a party animal.