is it ever ok to lie?

Of course lying is sometimes just more practical. Especially when it comes to white lies.

 

I would always chose little white lies to protect friends and sometimes enemies from major damage to their feelings. example I broke up with a girl today and told her it was because i decided to steady a ex boyfriend when in fact was because she was too clingy and terrible in bed.

 

I think white lies are fine since they usually have no malice and only good intentions in order to make the other person feel fine/indifferent or be kept in the dark for their own good. I do understand the feeling of guilt since you're holding something back and not being completely honest, but sometimes it is better to just keep it to yourself as to not cause unnecessary upset.

 

I agree with the others - Sometimes it's better to tell a white lie than be blunt and end up emotionally damaging the other person, especially if it's something significant/brutal.

I've had my share of telling white lies to get out of a social event I didn't feel like going to. When it comes to more life-changing things, I'd rather be blunt and truthful, even if it'll hurt the other person's feelings. I'm a very sensitive person and get offended pretty easily. For this reason, I'd rather tell a white lie (if it's something small) to get out of a situation I don't feel like getting into. I also tend to get annoyed rather quickly so as a result, I've learned to avoid certain people/situations.

So to sum it up: I feel it's ok to tell a white lie from time to time, to either protect yourself, or spare someone's feelings.

 

It depends on on what kind of lie it is of course. Sometimes keeping a lie is just as bad and stressful being rejected for telling the truth.

 

I guess I'm going to be the odd one out....but here goes....

For all of you who believe that it's okay to lie sometimes to avoid hurting someone, making a situation more complicated.....whatever the justification. Ask yourselves this question, what would you expect from other people? Do you want people to be up front and honest? Or do you want people to lie to you to protect you?

And truth be told....even the tiniest white lies can come back and bite you in the ass.

 

Times when I think its ok to lie.

When a colleague at work needs time off to deal with a personal crisis or family emergency, and you tell a customer she's "not in today because she's not feeling well". Customers don't need to know all of our personal issues, and your colleague probably won't appreciate it if their customers know too much information. Managers do need to be aware of the real reason people aren't at work, though.

When you're seeing a doctor or nurse about a sexual health problem and you don't want your parents or certain people to know all the details, so you just tell them you're "going shopping" or "seeing the doctor because of an ear ache" or something. (if it does turn out to be something serious, then you might want to come clean at some point, but that's entirely up to you, I won't judge.)

When someone you're not interested in asks you out and you say "I'm in a relationship" so that they leave you alone. I think this is fine if it's a random person in a pub who you're never going to see again. However, if its someone you know quite well and have regular contact with, then I think it's important to be honest and let them know you don't want the relationship to progress any further. Putting someone off with lies, when they have plucked up the courage to be honest and let you know about their feelings, is cruel.

Lying about your sexuality when you're not ready to come out of the closet. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Personally I think its better to be vague rather than make up stories, i.e. saying "I don't talk much about my sex life" rather than "I shagged this hot girl last night, man, she had the biggest boobies and she was so horny etc. etc." when no such thing happened, because you're putting yourself in an awkward position where people might want to know more and press you for more details, and that can get very tiring. Of course, it's not all black and white so I can't judge every closeted person's situation, your reasons for not coming clean about your sexuality are yours not mine.

 

I actually agree with you. I think most of the time when people say they are sparing the other person's feelings they really are just lying because it's easier than telling the truth or simply refusing to answer. I had a female colleague ask my opinion on something she was wearing today. I didn't care for it so I responded "It's not my favorite, but you always look lovely." Which is totally true. She looked momentarily confused until another colleague offered: "THAT is how you know he actually meant it when he complimented you yesterday." In the end I don't think white lies really do anyone any favors. I think you can be both truthful and tactful if you make the effort.

 

Sometimes it's better to say nothing.

Or, when people ask you a point blank question, just respond with another question, "Why do you ask?"

It's better than lying.