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Is changing my name really worth it?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by DragonsInSpace, Dec 14, 2017.

  1. DragonsInSpace

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    I posted a similar questions several months ago but I'm back at it again with the name questioning so here we go.

    I'm nonbinary and my presentation leans very much to the masculine end of things. My birthname is Hazel which I've been told is gender neutral and I suppose it is but I only know of women called Hazel and so associate it with women (except for that male hare from Watership Down).

    Some of my friends call me Haz or Haze and I like both of those nicknames when I hear them but Haze looks a lot like my full name and Haz seems too nickname-y to use in more professional settings. I mostly only dislike my name when I'm introducing myself to other people or sometimes when I hear other people say it, but the latter comes and goes.

    All that said, I don't hate my name and I actually like how uncommon it is. It holds sentimental value to me, and I'm not out to my parents so only my friends would be using it anyway. I'm not sure if it would be worth it to change it.

    If I changed it I might go with Hayes or Hayden, or something similar to those.
     
  2. Aberrance

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    Get a few friends to try out different names and see if you like it. If not then stick with what you've got. We can't help you choose whether or not to change your name, it's complete personal preference.
     
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  3. Jackie Ray

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    Hazel is such a beautiful name, please dont change it. Just get a nicky. My name is still Raymond John *********, I just go by Jackie Ray. On my drivers license it says Raymond John **********, but everyone knows me as Jackie, nicky's are fun.

    If I ever get a little girl, I would love to name her Hazel or Alice. Do single gay men adopt kids?
     
    #3 Jackie Ray, Dec 14, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2017
  4. heyrita

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    Hazel is such a good name, but you can always have a pen name if you want too.
     
  5. looking for me

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    i think its really a personal question, im not NB and im transitioning and my birth name is very male. my new name will be very Female. in the end, you need to make what ever decision you feel is best for you.
     
  6. MsEmmzy

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    What about keeping Hazel as a middle name? My birth name is pretty gender neutral and it holds sentimental value for both my mother and I, so I'm keeping it as a middle name and changing my first name. Just a thought that might help?

    You should try getting a few trusted friends or people you're close to and just test out different names and see what you like or dislike. If you play many online games, you could even try introducing yourself as a different name to see how you like it. That's another thing I did when I was trying to pick a name.

    Really, it's up to you. For me, it was worth it because even though my birth name was fairly neutral, I absolutely hated the way it sounded.
     
  7. Shadowgirl37

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    I think Hayes is a really good idea because it looks more official than Haze, but it sounds the same so you wouldn't have to worry about friends accidentally using a wrong name. What ever you feel is more you though. Good luck
     
  8. Wesley007

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    Here's an idea, try out your new name choices and have your support crew call you by one for a month, then if you don't like it you can try a new name out repeating the step until you find one that you like. I myself am struggling with my name choice. Another good idea is get a baby name book and look through it and bookmark or write down the names you like and figure out what you're looking for. Good luck.
     
    #8 Wesley007, Dec 27, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2017
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  9. Jackie Ray

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    A baby name book is a very good idea.
     
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  10. mask1985

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    It's definitely worth it - I only changed my middle names but feel better for doing so.
     
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  11. Wesley007

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    I am changing my entire name yet they are interconnected because of someone who has made a huge impact on my life so I am honouring them.
     
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  12. AlexJames

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    I know this is a couple week old thread but i'm interjecting cause i've been trying to figure out my middle name. I use google and look up top baby name charts for the years of the decade in which i was born. They track it so you can easily look it up, if you're like me and want a common name. They track middle names too but you gotta dig more to find common middle name lists. Me personally, i'd rather use my middle name to honor someone. But finding someone i will want to honor now and forever with my name is hard. I'm already iffy about 'james'. I would suggest practicing introducing yourself with different names in front of the mirror, when you're home alone, or even in the shower to test it out. Me personally, i wouldn't want to exhaust or annoy people with constant name changes. I would only want to tell people to call me by a new name when i'm certain its the name i want.
     
    #12 AlexJames, Jan 10, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2018
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  13. Wesley007

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    That's pretty much how it is for me. That's why my name on here is Wesley also so I can get used to seeing it and hearing it. I even have my therapist call me Wes and today he forgot and I teased him and said hey you forgot to call me by my name and he was like *whispers, Wesley, wesley wesley, Wes!*
    I personally do not like the name "James" reason: my father and the history I have with him. Nor do I like the name Anthony or Michael. Will explain later but those names are ones I have never liked anyway.
     
    #13 Wesley007, Jan 10, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2018
  14. AlexJames

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    Yeah James is my dad's name. He's cool with me liking girls and he's the better parent, the only good parent between the two of them, but at the same time he's never stood up for me to mom so i have mixed feelings about him. So idk if its such a good idea to make him my middle-namesake after all. Yeah i mean michael's a normal middle name and so is robert i've always liked the name robert but i don't wanna pick something at random. I feel like its gotta mean something. Maybe i'm just making it too complicated.
     
  15. Wesley007

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    This might help, go with names you think are pleasing to your eye, or ear in this case and pay attention to name meanings and how they are used and try to mix it up maybe instead of James, Jaymes instead or a shorthand version from a different language or cultural spelling difference like Jamie, Jaymie, Jay...
     
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  16. mask1985

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    That was the exact reason I did it - one for a musician and one for my first real love.
     
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  17. Wesley007

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    Mask! I have missed you!
    Yeah I agree you should open up more. At least let us see more of your profile, I'm so curious about my favourite pikachu.
     
  18. mask1985

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    I'm a shy boy Wes but I will try:blush:
     
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  19. Wesley007

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    I am too. I just make up for it eventually.
    What time do you usually come online? I know your time zone like the back of my hand so...if you answer in your time don't worry I will know what time it is for me. You are 8 hours ahead of me. Sigh :frowning2:
     
  20. mask1985

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    Usually about 7-8pm UK time. I guessed you were on the west coast - I want to visit the LA/San Francisco area some time, also Vegas and area 51 [as near as I can get!].
     
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