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Is anyone else here childfree by choice?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by fadedstar, Nov 19, 2018.

  1. Devil Dave

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    Fatherhood is not for me. I'll stick to being an awesome uncle who only spends time with kids at fun occasions like birthdays and Christmas.

    It irritates me when people try to change my mind on the subject of having kids. I mean, if you actually care about kids, then why would you try to talk someone into having kids if he just said "I don't want kids" ? Say I do suddenly become a dad and then something terrible happens to the child like an illness or an accident? You want me to live with the trauma of dealing with something i didn't even ask for? Thanks for the confidence.
     
  2. Kira

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    Somewhat, yes. I'll never have a biological child. I came to this conclusion before I learned I was both gay and sterile. I feel there's too many children out there in need to just go and make more, it feels illogical or immoral.

    While it is illegal here for me to adopt, I want to keep that as an option when I move. Gladly childfree for now, for multiple reasons. For one, I'm not in the best health and I should be able to take care of myself first. Medication, treatments, all that. Currently single and I would be underestimating the situation if I tried to do it alone. And lastly... I hardly had time for myself growing up, I always stayed hidden out of fear. I want to be able to go out and experience the world. Or at least experience Canada when I move there. Friends, girls' nights, dates, there's a lot I missed and want to be able to experience for myself in time.

    I also think I would be simultaneously the best, and worst mother. Kind but distant, open minded but depressed, cold but over-emotional, calm and chill but very paranoid... I feel I wouldn't be able to keep my focus on my child half the time, or wouldn't be able to give them a break the rest of the time. I'd teach them about safety but pass out the second one starts bleeding. I have a feeling my lack of middle ground would make me a less than satisfactory parent. I may not be cruel, but if I were negligent or unhelpful I could never forgive myself.
     
  3. Pret Allez

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    Yeah, I'm here to be a fighter, not a mom.
     
  4. Cas girl

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    I don’t want a biological child but I really want to adopt an older kid ( 7 to 10 years old ) when I am financially stable.
    If you’re not ready for the responsibility then you are not, I don’t think it is selfish or the reason is absurd. You had almost a decade to think about it ( guessing you are in your late twenties or early thirties), after all this time, you feel like you don’t want to bring a child into this world, then your decision is not going to change once you get pregnant like they show in the movies. You are not going turn a complete 180 in 9 months. You go through a lot of hormonal changes during pregnancy and if you have depression, then it is going to get worse.

    It is your body, it is your choice. Haven’t we, as part of the lgbt community, fighting to exercise our liberty ?

    And just because a choice few don’t want to give birth to a child, the human race will not become endangered. This inbred though to procreate was pounded into our minds to continue the lineage. The religious scriptures dictate reproduction coz in th beginning the population of that religion ( and population as a whole ) was less and the number had to be increased to survive. It is the same scriptures that say that a man must be with woman and vice versa. That homosexuality isn’t appropriate. It was all about survival.

    Now we are dominant species. So I don’t have to be responsible to anyone if I don’t want.
    After all, isn’t it the person fundamental right to live according to his terms ?
     
  5. europeanguy

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    I have no genetics worth passing on, and ive never had the chance to reproduce anyway. I have a sister who mostly inherited the good genetics and traits and all that, so she will hopefully pass that on. where as I inherited almost all the bad traits each of my parents have, and so they will die with me. its nothing personal its just good practice for a stronger and happier family line
     
  6. LaurenSkye

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    Same with me here. There are a lot of things that I would not want to pass on to a child, and that no child should have to be like me. I'm not sure I would ever adopt if given the opportunity. But, if I was involved with someone who already had kids, that would be okay with me.
     
  7. Canterpiece

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    Personally, I don't know if I'll ever have kids or not. Adoption would be my preferred method if I were to have them. If I ever end up in a long-term relationship that I'm happy in, then chances are I'll discuss this with my partner and see where it goes from there. Then again, life has a tendency to go in unexpected ways sometimes, so who knows what'll happen? Maybe I'll never date, perhaps I will. *Shrugs* There's a lot of variables and factors that I'm not too sure on at the moment.

    Do I have enough patience to raise a child? Will I end up being overprotective, or perhaps not offer enough? In the future, will I have enough financial stability to do so? Can I deal with the temper tantrums and loud noises a child produces?

    [​IMG]

    Guess I'll see if I can make it through University first before any of that.
     
  8. Tightrope

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    This couldn't have been said any better. I, too, know what is in the gene pools above me and it's not pretty. I have come to understand most of those dynamics as an adult. They were filtered somewhat prior to that. It would have been irresponsible to reproduce and I don't think I could have handled it well.
     
  9. europeanguy

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    yeah I could make a list of stuff id accidentally give to a kid if I had them biologically, for one a history of mental illness (so prone to it), autism, dyslexia, my family down my mothers side (including my mother) have a lot of narcissistic traits I could possibly pass to them even though I dont appear to have inherited them. all sorts of not so fun things
     
  10. Alice89

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    I don’t want to have children. It might be selfish of me but for someone who suffers from really bad depression I’d hate to think that someone I brought into the world might feel as depressed as I do and I’d never wish that feeling on anyone.
     
  11. Cauldron

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    I would love to be a parent but I don't have the mental capacity to do it. And seeing how previous generations have completely screwed everything up I wouldn't want to raise a child in the current state of the world, It wouldn't be fair to them.
     
    #51 Cauldron, Dec 6, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2018