So I was just at support group and one guy there kept calling me "she". At the beginning of group I said my male name and that I prefer male pronouns but I guess he forgot. I was too much of a pussy to correct him and I knew it wasn't his fault because I know I look like a girl. It was just hard because group is the only places I'm out as trans but even there people still see me as a girl.
If it does make you feel any better, try dressing as a guy or getting a shorter haircut? It would make you feel better and maybe remind them. If not, just breath. Just bring it up next support group and say how you feel. Try correcting next time if you feel comfortable. Gender Identity is a hard thing to deal with but that gets easier. Be a little assertive when you correct him too.
In group meetings, it is pretty easy to forget how people identify. My guess is that he did not mean any harm by misgendering you. If it happens again, I would tell him that you prefer male pronouns.
I think that you are right to be generous in not getting angry about his error. but it is a safe opportunity to practice gently correcting someone each time he makes the mistake. do it with love and patience, but also be firm (not harsh). he'll catch on, and you'll get more comfortable correcting people when it happens "out there."
Hey man, is it a trans support group, or some other kind of support group? I guess if it's a trans or queer support group, I would have stronger expectations they would gender you correctly. ~ Adrienne
That's the key here. If he heard what you preferred and forgot, correct him. But if he is doing it because he doesn't want to, like an asshole, you can either ignore him, or you can call him "she" to drive home a point. Personally, I prefer "asshole" to "he" or "she", for situations like this, but that might be a bit much for you, lol. You probably already know this, but I'll say it anyway. If you want to be perceived as a man, you have to either keep saying or playing. You keep saying, you're a man, or you play the role of one. In this case, be assertive, stand up for yourself -- if you can't do that here, in a group you are already out to, where they shouldn't have hostility toward you, how do you expect to get to the next step, where there is a more hostile prone environment? One step at a time. Right now, assert your desire to be referred to as a male. Then stick to it.
