I’ve been seeing my therapist about this too, but I want to know how other people on here deal with it. Anybody can respond because I realize there are many forms of internalized phobia.
Having all the negative stereotypes running through my head, thinking I’m disgusting, I’m greedy, I’m a pig... basically every thought saying I should be ashamed of myself.
Why do you think you are disgusting? Why do you think you're greedy? Why do you think you're a pig? To whom? How? And what else do you feel and why?
My family background was very conservative. I came out originally at 13 and did not have such a good experience that it caused me to turn inward until about a year ago. I know they are not rational thoughts, I just wanted to see if others could relate. I was just looking for support...
Yeah, but irrational thoughts are easier to deal with if you unpack them and take them step by step rather than trying to take them on as a whole.
Yes, I probably have internalized biphobia too, like thinking I am a slut while I've been faithful to my BF, thinking I'll fall in love with everyone I start a friendship with... I'm seeing a therapist too. It has been really helpful so far.
Hmm. well admittedly this one was kind of a pickle that even now i dont have a clear cut answer for. so id like to apologize in advance about that. Bisexuals Are Greedy: consider this. bisexuality in itself is not so much a set of actions upon a desire, so much as acknowledging the capacity of it. of course there are bisexuals that fit the stereotype, but they are no less valid than a monogamous or abstinent bisexual. would you consider someone that knows they love chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, a greedy person simply because they know? or because they have the capacity of it? to call love greedy is to wholly misunderstand the concept and those people do not deserve your time. Bisexuals Are Pigs: ive heard this one myself, particularly from my mother--about a bisexual that approached a married couple. unfortunately, in conservative mindsets, sex and anything relating to it is stifled to the point of a distorted expression of it/absolute vilification. sexual desire is perfectly natural and healthy for the people that experience, and as long as all parties involved are able to consent (by age, mind, spirit, equal footing, and comfort) and do so Clearly and Assuredly, then there is no issue with sexual expression. if anything, that is more a representation of a general set of biases that have been ingrained into people and has nothing to do with Bisexuals at large. Bisexuals Will Inevitably Cheat/Infidelity: this one is a tricky one. on a personal anecdote, i clearly recall sobbing violently with an ex-partner on a couch in someone else's basement--that i was terrified i would go to a person with a penis due to my sexual desire for that (and other things but lets not overcomplicate the issue). *I* very much so loved them and wanted to be with them/be loyal despite serious difficulties on my part. Being bisexual by itself does not make a person cheat. There are plenty of people of all orientations who Choose to unfaithful for a variety of reasons. if anything that is a communication issue/relationship issue. not a Bisexual issue. (unless the bisexual makes it one.) Bisexuals Are Confused: this one is a difficult one. At the end of the day, the validity of one's feelings--no matter what their orientation is always going to be real. bisexuality is not limited to a set of stereotypes or misgivings. an excerpt i like to use can be found on the biresource website. "Does bisexuality encompass people whose physical, sexual, emotional, and romantic attractions change over time? If you are once bisexual+ are you always bisexual+? If you are in a long-term relationship, do you stop being bisexual+ and “become” gay or straight depending on the gender of your partner? And for each of these questions, who gets to decide? (The answer to that last question, if you are bisexual+, is YOU and YOU alone!)" (Bisexual Resource Center, 2019). Ultimately it is a very real orientation that people have and walk around with every day. And your experience with it may differ due to environment, personal ideas, self-perception, or a plethora of other reasons; However it is still there. Bisexuals are not confused and can experience attraction to two or more genders, not necessarily at the same time, to the same degree, or the same way. Bisexuals Are Just Closet Gays: and ill end this post with a personal note. i am a gnc afab person. ive had three non cis male partners. however, im here with an intense attraction to men--despite my friends and partners insisting that im gay. while yes, it may be for some people that they find it easier to be bisexual for a time until they self actualize as a Gay/Lesbian individual, and that is still valid--it does not change that truly Bisexual people do exist and ARE bisexual. going back to the ice cream example, if someone likes vanilla ice cream, but everyone else really likes chocolate ice cream--they inevitably are going to try chocolate ice cream and try to fit with the group. they may test it out and discover that they really like vanilla/or they always knew but were afraid to rock the boat. it may take some time to be okay with being different (of course this is a very oversimplified example but i hope the point gets across) this is very much so not the entire scope of biphobia at large, and not a professional opinion--but i hope this helped at least a little bit. i sincerely wish you the best op. you are never alone in your journey.
