I've recently been going through a hard time. One of the reasons is that I keep thinking that If I were just a guy people would accept me. I'm butch and I just can't fit in, not only because people stare creepily at me when I'm doing my business in a washroom or for other random reasons, but also because everyone keeps saying that they'd love me more if I were a guy instead of a mess....and that I'm just a guy who's lying to himself. I'm sure I'm not trans, but it's getting hard to keep feeling left out because I just don't fit with both sides
There's a saying about this that i'm not awake enough to remember properly, but basically if it matters to them then they don't matter. I know, easier said than done, i won't even come out at work yet. But that's my opinion. There will be people that will support you and accept you for you. If you're not trans, you aren't trans, and they can either deal with it or fuck off that's my opinion lol. Do you have like an LGBT group or organization near your town? Maybe try stuff, like hobby and activity type stuff, and meet some new people.
I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, when people around you can dare even tell you such crude stuff. It just gives a glimpse to their own inhumane qualities and hypocrisy. Dont loose hope in yourself, as someone suggested above, i agree with them that the best thing for you right now if possible are lgbt groups and friends that share common interests with you. Your still wonderful and attractive, even as butch as you come.
You should surround yourself with people who will accept you for who you are and not who they want you to be. PLEASE don't transition to please other people. You will NEVER find happiness that way.
