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inexperienced/insecure

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by IntoTheDeep, Jun 25, 2013.

  1. IntoTheDeep

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    I am almost 18 and just recently began coming out. As the title implies, I am extremely inexperienced when it comes to dating/relationships and sex and I am also really shy and awkward when it comes to talking to or flirting with people I like. I have never been in a relationship and I have only ever kissed two people, both of them being male. I also don't have any gay or lesbian friends.

    While almost everyone I have come out to has been extremely loving and supportive, I still feel pretty alone because all my friends seem to talk about these days is their most recent (heterosexual) hook up. Basically, I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there in a similar situation who would care to share their experience and make me feel less abnormal... Or someone who can give advice on how to go about meeting other LGBT people my age. Thanks :confused:
     
  2. MerBear

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    I also have recently began coming out only to 3 people though but i have only had experience with males....And im inexperienced with female. I've never proper kissed a girl. I know exactly what you mean when you say

    "because all my friends seem to talk about these days is their most recent (heterosexual) hook up"

    thats all my friends talk about and its annoying. I have never went to a LGBT centre and that's really the only way, i can meet people like me my age. If there is a gay-straight alliance at your college or somewhere around campus. Maybe you could do that but overall YOU are not alone on this. I promise you, you're not. Your not abnormal, You're just your own person and i know, sometimes, its not easy to accept (from experience) but it does get better.

    Try talking to people on here and look at some threads and Hopefully you'll feel more at home. I did. :slight_smile:

    Good luck
    Just write on my wall if you need some more advice :slight_smile:
    happy to help
     
  3. Sardonic

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    First of all, don't worry about your inexperience, although it is tough. If it makes you feel better, I'm 19 and I've never been in a relationship, I've never even had a kiss, and only very recently had someone compliment my body for the first time.

    On the outside, most people wouldn't be able to tell something like that. I'm gregarious and engaging, and very outgoing. I find it easy to talk and flirt with people. It's just kind of a disconnect, because I'm serious about relationships and a lot of people aren't at this age.

    I only figured out that I was bi a couple months ago, and even then that might yet shift to "gay," depending on how my life pans out (we'll see!) so that has a large part to play in this. The real issue is just that people at this stage in life don't have good priorities for relationships. They're more experienced with sex, maybe, but not love. They know what they want even less than you, and they're just screwing around trying to find something they don't really know how to define.

    I know it's tough, and it can feel very isolating and lonely, but keep in mind that with relationships and sex, quality trumps quantity over and over and over again.
     
  4. mwaffles

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    My friends are really gay friendly. I mean, the two girls and the guy who are straight, the rest of us (3 boys and me) are gay. But, as I said, the two girls are straight, so, whenever they talk, they talk about men. They ask me about girls but it just feels weird to talk about. But I have online friends and that helps a lot, because I can talk about girls and be really comfortable about that.

    I have never been in a relationship either, I've never gone all the way with anyone. But I mean, I don't even care about that, actually.

    What you should do is try to make a lesbian or gay friend and it should help you. Try it online. You'll become less shy eventually, you'll just have to learn to start a conversation. I still have this problem, but I know it shouldn't be scary. Just try making the first move with anyone anywhere, it might help you stop being shy.
     
  5. IntoTheDeep

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    Thanks for the replies. I know I'm not abnormal, it just feels that way when I'm surrounded by people I don't have much in common with.
     
  6. MerBear

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    I know the feeling. Believe me haha. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Straight ally

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    Stop focusing on dating and compulsevely make friends, specialy close friends. Even better if you make lesbian friends, because lesbians have lesbian friend who have lesbian friends who have lesbian friends.

    Also try having a hobby that engage you and you are passionate about, is always good to have distractions as they help you with not being desperate.