Increasing anxiety - not making any transition progress

I don’t know if this thread is worth making or whether perhaps I should just post in the vent thread where in all likelihood it would never be read. However, I think that posting this separately may lead to conversation and thus reassurance... who knows, one can only hope.

I am not yet on T, unfortunately even though I thought I would have been several months ago (having to get bloods redone + clinic falling behind by it seems over 2 months worth of work = no T for presumably at least the next 3+ weeks when I have been waiting for a long time already prior to this). I am not coping particularly well with the wait in all honesty, at all.

Also, my old worries are beginning to resurface as I’m becoming increasingly worried and stressed about the possibility of never making any progress, I feel unable to move forward and basically, completely trapped, fun.

For example, what if when I get on T my voice doesn’t drop and it remains within the female range? I’m absolutely terrified of this. What if my face doesn’t become more masculine? What if I cannot grow and facial hair/body hair/adams apple etc. What if I can’t get top surgery within my planned time period as T is delayed (I’m going private for both T + top surgery as I have saved enough money to do so). Basically what if the progress I need doesn’t happen? I can’t cope with my dysphoria staying how it currently is, what do I do? Is there anything I can do? My anxiety is just getting worse about this every day, I can’t stay like this, but I’m also indefinitely having to wait to progress. Any advice on how to cope with this? I feel like I’ve been coping forever and I’ve pretty much used all of my “coping capacity” up.

Also, I apologise for my rambling post, hopefully it makes some sense to others though.