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Incestal thoughts are killing me

Discussion in 'Anonymous Physical and Sexual Health' started by Anonymous, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. Anonymous

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    I'm a gay boy in my teens ( I'm kinda confused ,though) my major concern is not that it is ..... I've had a father who has never shown love openly to me I have hardly conversed with him ..... he goes to work ( dentist) early and comes late .... I always wanted to have a father who showed love but I never got one that doesn't mean that he was ignorant whatever I asked for was given and was also given a lot of money but not love or typical daddy things like playing etc from a very young age I was curious about my father ( not normal curiosity) when I entered teenage and discovered I was gay I also found a terrific truth ( I wish it were false) that I was sexually attracted to my father( very disgusting ) now I have OCD and got a lot of intrusive thoughts in my head ....abt my father It is basically a mans body with my fathers face ( it terrifies and freaks me ) sure I'm attracted to it ..... now my mind says that I'm a freak and I'm sinning against god for thing such things ,..... I assure you that I'll rather die than to act on such thoughts ... now my mind says that's if I hav to correct it I must masturbate ( weird ?huh ) I this process I get thoughts abt my dad that a re intrusive and end up doing it multiple times to correct it and feel very depressed if I don't I have planned to end my life if this doesn't get any better ... pls help I need it desperately plssssssssssss
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    What you are describing here probably needs to be addressed in therapy, possibly with input from a psychiatrist. It sounds like there is a fair degree of shame to work through, but you also need to understand what's happening in these fantasies and how it's all connected to the absence of a loving and nurturing father during your formative years. It's more complicated than we can deal with here I'm afraid, but my best advice is to address the issue and not ignore it. If you do that now you may be able to move forward before all of the intrusive thoughts become embedded.
     
  3. Imstupid

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    Thank you very much for the advice .... iam grateful to you ... but my concern is these thoughts force me to masturbate a lot of times ( so as to correct the previous one with intrusive thought ) and I don't like masturbating too much pls help
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    If it's an emotional issue that's fuelling everything else (and you have implied such a link), you are best addressing it from that perspective. If you can make progress with all of the intrusive thoughts, you may see a reduction in frequency of masturbation. Ultimately, there is no harm in masturbating. You may not like the thoughts and fantasies that arise while you are masturbating, but it will not cause you any real harm to masturbate more often.
     
  5. Anonymous

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    This is most likely your OCD. Many people who have OCD worry about things like being pedophiles, being sociopaths, being incestuous, and the list goes on, when they're not. The fact that you're imagining another man's body, just with your father's face makes me think that you imagine these things to try and reassure yourself that you're not attracted to your father, but when you feel attracted to the male body, you think that it must be because you are an incestuous deviant who is a danger to others. I know what this feels like, because I suffer from a very similar type of OCD. I have OCD and intrusive thoughts of being a pedophile, and it scares the shit out of me. I'm not, and I've never been attracted to children, but a little voice in my head keeps on feeding me doubts that deep down inside, I'm some dangerous pervert and it's only a matter of time before I snap. I know. It's irrational. But knowing the irrationality doesn't stop the thoughts. You should go to OCD action. It's a forum that help's OCD sufferers, and it helped me realize that I'm not a monster, and I think it will help you realize that you're not one either.
     
  6. Imstupid

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    Thanks for your advice but sadly I know that its not OCD ...... I need more help I can't really go to a psychiatrist or something like that because I'm very ashamed so pls help me I know that it'll be annoying to some of you sorry
     
  7. Anonymous

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    The thoughts are becoming more and more vigorous and real I don't know what to do pls help ....
     
  8. PatrickUK

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    You really do need to work with a professional to understand what's going on. There's a degree of complexity to your feelings that will not be easily, or adequately explored here. We can offer support and encouragement, but what you seem to need is more in depth help that gets to the root of these feelings and offers a way forward.
     
  9. Patrick7269

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    I agree with PatrickUK that only a professional can truly help.

    That being said, I will say that the men who most attract me often share physical features and personality traits with my father. Although I've never longed to have sexual contact with my father, his general physical features and mannerisms are often found in the men that I date or am attracted to. This is quite common since after all the first male we encounter and form a mental "template" of is typically our father. So, I've noticed that my tastes in men sometimes reflect the influence of my father, but I have not felt compelled to have sexual contact with my father directly. I've asked my therapist about this explicitly and I was assured that I am very normal.

    If you have OCD then sorting this out may be challenging. You could be going through something very normal that your OCD is impacting or complicating. For the same reason I would suggest seeing a trained professional.

    *warm hugs*

    Patrick