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In love with my best friend who is straight?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BelieveinLove94, Jul 15, 2016.

  1. BelieveinLove94

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    I have a best friend I met online when I was thirteen. We met through FanFiction.net. She has always been there for me and and vice versa. Mom even said she is the best person I ever could have chosen as a friend. My best friend is beautiful on the inside and out but she has a boyfriend and is straight as far as I know. I've been in love with her for a few years just never admitted it to myself.She 's lives in France and has been close to the tragedies that have gone on. She was visiting family in Paris the night of the Paris attack. She was in her parents house luckily so she was ok but I panicked and kept Skype calling her until she finally answered and said she was ok. I cried from relief then I cried from the thought of losing her. Then yesterday happened. She lives near Nice, France and she's ok but I realized yesterday that I was in love with her. I can't bear the thought of losing her but I think she's straight, I mean she has a boyfriend. How do I get over being in love with her?
     
  2. geoseason

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    Starting meeting up with gay girls you know in real life or through a dating app. It's more fun dating someone of the same orientation and sex, especially when they constantly make you feel good about yourself with their attraction to you.
     
    #2 geoseason, Jul 15, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2016
  3. A Mindful Wolf

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    You can always stay in love with her, just redefine that love so that it makes sense, and let's you be in love with someone you can be with.
     
  4. HappyGirlLucky

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    I can't offer you any advice, but the same thing happened to me yesterday. I have known for a while that I have some feelings for my best friend, but yesterday it really hit me that I am actually in love with her.

    We had been shopping earlier in the day and after that we went to hang out at this beautiful and kind of romantic place overlooking a small river. After a while it got cold, and without even thinking I offered her my shirt so she wouldn't freeze and that is when I realized it. I would not have done that for anyone else (I am selfish lol) and I realized I was really happy that it would smell like her when I got it back. I washed it today to not be creepy though. :redface: I would have happily offered her all my clothes if it meant she would be comfortable. She is a very sensitive person who becomes afraid and worried easily, and I like to keep her feeling safe and worry free.

    After that moment, when I realized it, she is all I can think about. I was watching the movie "Kiss Me" today and the brown haired woman looks scary much like her, which did not help take her off my mind at all. She is straight and in a long term relationship also, and even if she weren't I feel we would be incompatible for other reasons. Apparently my heart doesn't give a damn what my brain thinks about the situation though. So if you figure out how to get over her without never talking to her again, let me know...

    I am glad your friend is safe, I can't imagine how you must have felt both times. I hope she stays safe, seems like France is a dangerous place to be right now. (*hug*)

    P.S. I think OP and I are a little too far gone into these feelings to just decide that it means something else or to just forget about it. I think we are both quite aware that it is more fun when the other person is also gay. :lol:
     
    #4 HappyGirlLucky, Jul 15, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2016
  5. Miri

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    It's funny, I'm in the exact same situation: I also met my best friend online, she lives in France, she was staying in Paris with a friend when November 13th happened, and she also has a boyfriend. I suppose I don't really think she's straight - after all we did date - more likely in denial, ever since her sister outed her to her family and she stopped openly saying she was gay. Still, whether or not you want or hope or suspect that someone's gay, or bisexual, or whatever, you have to take their relationship at face value and respect it. You can gently open the topic around her if you want, you could just ask about gay things in general, you could analyze her behavior and her likes - see how comfortable or enthusiastic she is with gay couples in fiction, or how devoted she seems to her boyfriend - but that can be dangerous, so don't go overboard and twist yourself into knots about it trying to convince yourself she's a closet case. Unfortunately, if you suspect she's straight, she's likely straight, especially knowing her as long and as well as you did. Still, don't be afraid to mention things to her if you feel comfortable with it - just be careful and look out for yourself. Best wishes!
     
  6. geoseason

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    I only meant to offer some encouragement to help her move into the idea of getting feelings of someone else, possibly more obtainable. Like an openly gay lady. Although, I know what it's like to have feelings to be deep in them to where you can't just push them away. However, you can find someone else you like, and you will become more and more attached to them hopefully while the girl you love is on the backburner hopefully. Yeah I have feelings for a straight guy!
     
    #6 geoseason, Jul 15, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2016