In the last 6 months or so ive has feelings toward a woman and I've identified as straight all my life. Is it just me that feels like im an imposter? Im not 'really gay' im finding it hard to call myself anything but straight in fear of being a fake or not know 100% what i am 33 Xx
Hey female33! The fear of being an imposter is perhaps one of the most common ones I've seen around this forum, particularly amongst gay and bi women, who are juggling both heteronormative expectations and a man-centric patriarchal system. here's the thing: even if you're only ever attracted to one woman in your entire life, you're welcome in the lgbt community. that's really all there is to it. most people who are 100% straight don't really question their sexuality at any point. you don't have to be 100% sure about your sexuality (a lot of us aren't!), nor do you have to be 100% gay, or a perfect 50/50 when it comes to bisexuality. you also don't need to look for the perfect fitting label if you don't feel the need to. it's perfectly fine to do things at your terms, at your own pace. a lot of us identified as straight at some point (that's considered the default by society, after all!) so having done that also does not invalidate anything you're experiencing right now. it might be the case that you're just 99% attracted to men and 1% to women, and you'll only develop feelings for a woman once in your life. it may also be that the more you open yourself up the idea, the more you'll be attracted to women. both options are valid and definitely don't make you an imposter in any way imo. remember, every bit of society, all your life, has been trying to convince you're straight because that's the default - it makes a lot of sense that worries like this slip in. And, well, society would love for you to be an imposter: you'll find it in subtly homophobic comments like "it's just a phase". But just because you're not 100% sure doesn't make you an imposter. Even if you later realise you're 100% straight and you were just fooling yourself with this girl (which is highly unlikely considering how eager society is to disregard the possibility of women being into other women for any other purpose than men's pleasure) you're very much welcome in the lgbt community as long as you're questioning, if you're asking me
Thank you so much for that, im having a hard time at the moment and its good to hear some one explain things and it to make sense. Its a comfort to be welcomed to a community x
All of this is very true! I feel this way too sometimes,(have for the last couple days actually). You're totally normal and you belong here.
That’s kin That’s kinda how I am feeling as well, am I living a lie or is it some type of imposter that has taken over my consciousness when it comes to feelings such as this...either way I feel off as if something has changed and I’m not sure what to make of it....
its hard feeling like i belong anywhete at the moment. I feel like i am pushing people away. I dont want to socialise or do anything. I feel heavy with depression and busy thoughts. I feel like i just want to get under the duvet and sleep 33 x
Hi female33....I am trying to reconcile myself to the fact that I have been a latent bisexual and I am struggling with coming to terms with it. I don’t even feel like myself and that I have been deceiving myself all these years
I've been experiencing this exact thing myself. It's all I can think about and it is driving me crazy. I also feel the depression. I have kind of decided to step away, not think about it, and just let my mind relax the best it can. If I am gay, if I am not, oh well. Even though I would rather be gay because I feel that is more me right now, I have nothing that tells me that 100% for sure right now. It's been the strangest internal experience I have ever had.
