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Imposter syndrome

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Ninjarabbit, Oct 29, 2018.

  1. Ninjarabbit

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Norway, Oslo
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ok. I think I need help. I've been sitting on this for a while and I need to let it out somewhere.

    I been thinking for a while about my orientation. For years I've identified as bisexual.
    Now that I've been in a relationship with a man for the first time I'm thinking I might not be interested in pursuing women anymore.

    However now these negative and anxious thoughts have gotten to my head. Thoughts like "but technically I'll always be female" and "well, wouldn't it always be technically straight" (or lesbian if it's another transguy).
    I believe these are related to the "I'll never be a real man".
    I'm scared to say gay, I don't want to intrude on the label even if though I know it's illogical.

    I just feel like an imposter. How do I get rid of these thoughts?
     
  2. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    Prioritise your experience over the words in your head.
     
  3. Ninjarabbit

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Norway, Oslo
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My experience is different from that of a cis gay/bi guy.
    That is kind of the problem.
     
  4. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    To me it sounds like the problem is that you overanalyse everything and obsess over labels. Make the changes to yourself that you feel like you want to make and and enjoy dating whoever you're dating/ date whoever you want to date.

    By "your experience" I don't mean your analyses of your life so far I mean what you're feeling right now. Live your life for yourself and forget about piecing together a narrative with which other people can grasp your identity.
     
    #4 fadedstar, Oct 29, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 29, 2018
  5. AnAtypicalGuy

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Gallifrey
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Labels are overrated. Just pursue whatever love you can find and be done with it. I have no idea what I'm attracted to and honestly I couldn't care less. Finding a label won't make it any easier for me to fall in love.

    Give it a rest. You're not an impostor. You're a person whose sexual orientation is, unlike the majority of the population, blurred. Welcome to the club! And for the record, you're as real a man as your father is, or any of your other male friends. If you say you're a man, that's it. You're a man.
     
    Love4Ever likes this.
  6. androgynousdog

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    youre a flippin man buddy, congrats! as for the thoughts. im really sorry and thats hard as fuck to deal with. maybe working with a trans aware therapist might help? and doubts come and go. no matter what your pesky brain says. youre a man. and you are living your life and attractions as a man. itll be hard but hang in there buddy.