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Important: Regarding EC User "Musicteach"

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by EmptyClosets, Jan 4, 2021.

  1. EmptyClosets

    Admin Team Full Member

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    As most of you know, one of the tasks the staff of EC has behind the scenes is to do our best to maintain the security of the EC community. In accordance with that, we are always on the lookout for behavior and posts that appear to be problematic or inauthentic. We believe that it both unfair to the community, and unsafe, to have people being dishonest about who they are. This damages people's sense of trust in others in the community.

    We are in the unfortunate position of having to share with the community that the persona / EC member known as "Musicteach" is not who he appears to be. A combination of things in his posts triggered concerns among the administrative team, resulting in an investigation.

    With the details Musicteach had posted in his posts, and, separately, communicated to staff during exchanges with Musicteach, including an expressed interest in being an EC staff member, we were able to identify dozens of inconsistencies and improbable-sounding posts from the Musicteach persona, including the following:

    • Detailed descriptions of a 500 member high school marching band that Musicteach supposedly directed in a relatively sparsely populated Midwestern state
    • Substantial variance in different posts as to the size of the band
    • Detailed descriptions of an enormous flash mob engagement
    • A similar flash mob, impromptu wedding, in the middle of the supposed smaller town
    • The offering of a job (solicited at a high school football game) as the band director at a university
    • The claim that said university had previously had 5 band directors over 10 years,
    • Claims of studying for a Ph.D in a subject area where Ph.Ds are not traditionally offered (a combined two areas of study, which is not common in doctoral-level studies)
    • Claims of being in the military
    • Claims of work in schools or universities with very specific details, in a specific state
    • Evasiveness when asked for information that would allow verification of any of the above info
    • An extremely implausible explanation of why he could not provide information verifying his identity to us
    The staff, as part of our security review, attempted to verify the existence of any of the above events/scenarios/explanations. At least some of the above should have been verifiable, however none were. With the details Musicteach had posted in his posts, we were able to find dozens of inconsistencies, including:
    • No university that matched the stated criteria in his posts
    • No high school in the claimed state (or even in the midwest) with a marching band anywhere near the claimed size
    • No media reports of flash mob weddings or proposals (which, in a smaller town, would absolutely have made news.)
    • No indication that the Musicteach persona resides in or posts from the area he claims to reside in, and considerable contradictory evidence.
    • Educational and work information for the actual poster that does not remotely match the claimed educational/work background of the Musicteach persona
    • Evidence that the actual poster was in a marching band in high school, 10+ years ago, and stated an interest in becoming a band director/music teacher, but is now in a completely unrelated field.
    Thanks to the work of our staff in looking at posts and information, and matching it using some of our security resources, we were able to conclusively identify the actual individual behind these posts. In keeping with our confidentiality policies and our stated values, we will not reveal who the individual is, but we have identified that this individual does not live in the midwest, does not have a music degree, does not work in education. (He is also about 6 years younger than the Musicteach persona, further making the claims implausible.)

    As we do in all such cases, we contacted the individual and invited him to "come clean" and admit to fabrication of the Musicteach persona and rebuild an honest perception of himself with the community. When this has occurred before, it has benefited the community and the individual, by allowing the individual to honestly seek needed help and support for their real self, and by reminding the community of the value of authenticity and personal integrity. The community has always been understanding and forgiving of those who have created these stories. While he initially responded, unfortunately, the member has not corresponded with us since (in spite of multiple contacts from us, which we know were read) after essentially admitting that the stories were not what they seemed to be.

    When someone creates a false persona and builds an elaborate story around it over the course of a year, there's a reason. Usually it's because they are unhappy in their current life, and are seeking to create a fantasy of their ideal life. The problem is... this harms community members who think they're communicating honestly with someone. It also harms the individual, by allowing them to descend into a fantasy world, and by further reinforcing their own shame about who they really are.

    People who do this are hurting deeply. They are often deeply closeted, and may have reasons, such as having a parent who is deeply religious, or is a member of the clergy. Or perhaps they live in an area that isn't welcoming. These and many other reasons can fuel the belief that they can't ever be open about who they are. And this is where EC can do an enormous service to help these individuals understand and love themselves... and perhaps to realize they can be who they are, and find acceptance.

    In sharing this with the community as a whole, it's our hope that we can encourage people to be themselves, to ask for the help they need, and to know that if they have been less than honest about who they are, it's OK to be open and honest about it, and that they will not be judged for "coming clean" and being who they really are.

    It is our honest hope that the individual behind the Musicteach persona (who has visited EC, but has not posted since our discussion with him) will choose to continue participating in the community, and to come forward and share his real story openly with the community. And we also hope that others will take this opportunity to realize that this community can be accepting and welcoming of everyone, and that someone who works retail, or doing telephone support, or janitorial, or some other job they consider to be mundane (as most of our real stories are) can be just as worthy and interesting as someone whose life might appear more exciting.

    Particularly since we are starting a new year, it's our hope that this post might encourage others who have perhaps hidden their true selves to just take a step toward being themselves, in whatever way that feels right for them.
     
  2. jessie19

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    It is unfortunate that this happened and i also hope said persona is able to be broken and he/she/they are able to come out and become the person they deserve to be
     
  3. Poofter

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    Wow, that’s shocking. I hadn’t noticed the inconsistency until it was laid out like that up there. The drama people need to create for themselves saddens me. This is one of the first places I felt accepted, being the authentic me. I may not post much but I read a lot and interject when I feel I can. It saddens me too, that they felt need to impress and not be their authentic self.

    I’d like to thank the E.C. Staff for being on top of this. Thanks for keeping this a safe place for everyone.
     
  4. Destin

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    Dang. I liked him...

    Looking back on it, yeah some of it did seem kind of too unique to be true, but his posts were so long and specific with well thought out plans and what looked like a lot of emotion poured into them it seemed really believable.
     
  5. Lyman

    Regular Member

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    Wow, reading this has hit me like a bag of bricks, as that fictional persona had given me one of the final pushes to finally come out... With one of those stories that apparently aren't true... And he was also there encouraging me at my first thread, during my first week on EC, telling those stories...

    I honestly don't know how to describe how I'm feeling right now, as I type out these lines. I guess it's a mixture of several things and that I won't know which the dominant one is until later on... I'd say it's some sort of a very unusual multifaceted sadness.

    I must admit that after one of our last exchanges I noticed that I had plenty of information about his school to identify it uniquely and tried to search online who the person that was helping me was, and was surprised that I found nothing, but I just dismissed it as having misunderstood something on the posts. In fact, I interacted with him again, although after that I started to think about what exactly such a happy and fulfilled person was doing posting those things... And I also found two other things unusual, but not suspicious. Anyway, I didn't expect this at all. At all! Ugh, I feel so stupid.

    I want to thank the staff for the amazing hard work and for such a great post explaining it. You must've devoted lots of hours to this. Heartfelt thanks!
    I prefer the sad truth that a sweet lie...
    Was I much happier one hour ago? Big time.
    Do I want this to happen to anyone else? Hell, no.

    Although I'm deeply hurt, I can say to the real person behind the fictional character Musicteach that I forgive him, as long as he doesn't do it again in any online community. I feel cheated, but I subscribe this paragraph by the staff:
    I hope you can find the support you need, on EC or elsewhere. I really do.
    I am a real person that's been going through the experiences that he posts here in real life (although I try to hide personal information as much as possible, as expected in a forum like this one). And I've learnt from this journey that, it gets better, it always does.
    I don't know and probably can't imagine what you're dealing with, but whatever it is, I wish that you manage to get through it.

    As for me, I know this wound will heal within some time, as all do... And hopefully my ability to trust people and see the good in everyone won't be diminished in the long term.

    Like I always try to persuade myself to do (sometimes unsuccessfully), I'll try to focus on the positive sides of life, and remember how much real people like @Ram90, @Chip, @LostInDaydreams, @Mihael and many others around here helped me when I needed it the most.
     
    #5 Lyman, Jan 7, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2021
  6. Tightrope

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    That member's posts were long. I read a few of them earlier on. He wrote fairly well. I didn't keep up with this handle to notice the inconsistencies. I'm glad management did.

    It's sad that there was all this fabrication. I don't think it would have been hurtful to others and himself if he had instead gone in the direction of disclosing less. A good many members here know how to walk the line between being honest and disclosing what is necessary and also being reasonably private at the same time.
     
  7. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    The problem is that there is almost nothing about the musicteach persona that is factually accurate. He works in a completely different field, having nothing to do with music, does not have a music degree (let alone doctoral studies), has not taught music in a school. Probably not out to much of anyone. Probably not in a relationship. And his posts were almost entirely about this made-up existence. So to "disclose less" would basically be to say absolutely nothing about himself.

    One can certainly be very private about their life, career, education, and so forth and still share a lot and/or ask for help. That would certainly have been a reasonable option if this individual had simply wanted support. But I think instead, he was seeking attention for this fantasy life he created. He still visits the forums regularly, but has not interacted with anyone since we asked him about the discrepancies. The staff team are all hoping that he will eventually feel comfortable posting again.
     
  8. Tightrope

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    Thanks for this clarification. It helps understand what happened. This is a fairly different type of situation. Most of the other reports to members in the past have been about the more typical trespasses we would want to look out for.
     
  9. BiGemini87

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    Oh, wow. This is...shocking, to say the least. O_O I hadn't taken note of inconsistencies, but I also haven't paid close attention to him. I hope with time he'll come clean and be able to be his honest self with all of us. If not, it's a shame.

    I did come across another user not too long ago that had some inconsistencies in their threads as well, though I thought perhaps I'd misunderstood. If I can find them, I'll be sure to notify staff in the event they wish to look into things.
     
  10. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    It's always helpful to report any post you see that seems "off." The staff keeps a pretty close watch, but with all the activity, we are bound to miss things, and it's often our members that notice things the staff may not.
     
  11. DecentOne

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    I wondered what happened. Even went to check the profile to see when the last post was.

    When I first started lurking on EC, before I signed up to post, I remember a female posting regularly. I kinda thought it was too good to be true - almost like an author practicing writing installments of a soap opera. In that case I imagined meeting the person in real life. In the end they disappeared or were asked to leave, I don’t remember.

    In real life I knew a guy, maybe around late 20’s, about the same age as me at the time, who it turned out had completely fabricated himself and got into school with that false self. The school eventually figured it out (remember back in the day we didn’t have internet, and doing background checks wasn’t standard, much easier then to pull off but still was quite a challenge to keep it up for that long). I was left feeling about how I feel now. The guy seemed ok, don’t know why he was hiding his real self. He even came over to my shared house once and hung out in the living room. I have no idea where he is now. Probably couldn’t even Google him, since we don’t know if his name was real. Never got an explanation.

    MusicTeach, no hard feelings. I hope you come back and explain.