I'm with someone right now and I really want to have a relationship with him. My problem is that I think he just wants a boyfriend where he can come and go on his whim. I enjoy having someone with me and it's really hard finding men around my age in my area. My thing is that I want someone that eventually will want to move in and possibly marry someday. I hate being at home alone and it's nice having someone there with me. He has friends about 2 hours away where he used to live before he had a stroke and moved back to my area to be closer to his family. His friends will call him to ask for favors and he will just leave for sometimes a week at a time. He's been looking at moving in with me and has quite a bit of stuff at my house already. I know that if I tell him that I'd like for us to be like a married couple (he can't get married at the moment because he relies on his disability income to help take care of his mom) and him talk to me before just accepting to run off to where his friends are whenever they call, he'll take this as me trying to be controlling. I have anxiety over the prospect of being alone and because of this, I'm worried about talking to him. But also, this irritates me when he just takes off out of the blue. I really should just take my chances and tell him how I feel, he might surprise me and be agreeable to that, but I'm pretty sure I know better. I just wish I could get over this feeling of dread of being alone.
hey Brian why don't you go with him when he goes to his friends rather than make it a reason to be unhappy with him. I do know how you feel but I had to learn to be okay with being alone. And truly its not as bad as I thought it would be. And why do you feel he must be with you all the time. Let him help his friends and you find something to do while he is gone. You cant change people you can only change how you feel about it.
I can't go with him because I have to work. I don't feel like I have to be with him all the time and I don't mind him going to his friends, just want him to feel respectful of me and tell them he doesn't see any problem helping them, but that he wants to talk to me before he takes off for a week.
