I debated with myself to post this anon. but figured it'd be better to just accept my feelinga in this post as mine. I'm f***ed up and I've been angry at myself for the feelings that I have for other guys for a long time now ( there are more reasons but let's not go there). Recently I have been thinking about just my general lack of feeling for life anymore and how everything just seems apathetic. I don't want to be a jerk to people but I'm pushing people close to me away because I can't come out to them and they don't know why I'm lashi g out. I've tried meeting guys near me online and in gay bars with friends but the guys I met were either not my type or shady as hell. I'm sorry for ranting but I just want to anyone's advice on how to actually give a damn anymore and to meet someone who I can talk to.