I don't know where this came from but just today I was just thinking about anal sex in general and how some guys might not even wash their hands after fingering themselves or their partner(s) - I even made a thread about it earlier - , it had me wondering if I've ever done that and then all of a sudden this crushing nagging voice in my head went "Well if you weren't such a perv who likes playing where the sun don't shine, you wouldn't have to worry about that." I don't even know where it came from. It's like it just hit me today - I'm actually attracted to the male anus, male buttocks, pretty much the male behind..something that was never meant to be a sex organ. I have for all these years but I haven't really let it hit me the way it did today... and it's not a good feeling. It's like I feel guilty for liking anal play and I feel like if I haven't been properly washing my hands afterwards that I may have even potentially spread a bacterial infection b4 (by touching a doorknob or lending a pen ). I legit feel like a health hazard now (cause I DO wash my hands but I don't know if it's long or hard enough). Is that how it works or am I just overestimating how germs/bacteria spread? Maybe it has something to do with an article I read about how fecal matter is found in just about any surface in our lives. It had me wondering - and I know it might make some of you laugh - just how much of this fecal matter that makes its way on public everyday spaces was from gay/bi guys and even straight dudes who didn't wash their hands properly after anal play. For the record, I'm never giving up anal tbh. (Don't mean to gross anyone out but) nothing compares to the feeling of topping a really hot bottom . I just want to get rid of this guilt that just came out of nowhere and I can't seem to shake off. I once had a guilt trip during the middle of intercourse and I lost my erection. I hope this never makes it happen again.