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I'm really confuzed...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Asher4heart, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. Asher4heart

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    I just don't know what to do. I can't really identify with myself as a girl. But I obviously can't say I'm a guy. I claim to be bi yet there is something missing when dating a girl. I feel liek I want someone who is boy enough to romp around with and be a guy with yet is sensitive to understand girls. Which is basically how I am. I don't know if I'm ready to take such a step as being a trans, yet I almost wish I would? I'm just really confuzed...and I can't seem to wrap my mind around an explination...please help.:bang:
     
  2. beckyg

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    I think you need to stop focusing on what you are and focus on what makes you happy. Follow your heart and your soul and it will let you know what's right. You don't have to make decisions at 17 years old. Just strive to feel happy.
     
  3. Asher4heart

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    yeah but i can't be happy becasue of where i live. I have to be something I am not. I wanna find myself because I'd liek to get in a relationship before i die v.v. I just don't know what I want or what I need and its depressing...because no one seems to understand me...
     
  4. Mirko

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    Hi there! I agree with Becky. Follow what ever makes you feel good. I wouldn't worry about labeling yourself at this stage. The feelings that you have a completely normal and will take a while to figure everything out. Go with whatever feels right for you. Don't be afraid though to explore all sides of you. With time you will have figured it all out and you will be able to make sense of your feelings.

    Most importantly, don't rush into anything. Take your time.

    Edit: we posted at the same time - yesterday you mentioned that you live in a small town where you don't have someone with whom you can talk. If your town does not have a support group or if you can't find someone with whom you could talk, maybe try finding a support group outside of town. Do you live close to a larger city? If not, maybe what would help, is if you try talking to a counselor at your school. That might help to bridge a bit the time until you go to college where you would most likely find someone to talk to. I do think it is important that you talk to someone in person about your feelings as well. It will help you in figuring it all out.

    Hope this helps!
     
    #4 Mirko, Jul 24, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2008
  5. silentsound

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    My best advice in wondering about your bisexuality and your gender would be to relax. It took me a long time to learn that the words don't actually mean anything. Do whatever makes you happy, be YOURSELF. It's the best thing you can do in the long run, and the identifications might just fall into place over time. Time is the ultimate healer.
     
  6. beckyg

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    You are 17 years old. Maybe its time to look for a GLBT friendly college campus and expand your horizons! :grin: Oregon has some great ones!
     
  7. Asher4heart

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    Thank you all so much. I really appriciate the advice. The only problem with exploring all sides of myself is my town. It is hard to explore right now. Hopefully in fall of '09 when i go to college I will be able to find out how I really feel. I am however very limited on my college choices. It is hard to find one with the degree i need and the one i have found is in IN luck me -__- so yeah. I'd love to get way away...but it just seems everything is holding me bak.
     
  8. Antrioss

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    The only thing holding you back is insecurity. I know how scary that is. I used to be so insecure, that I didn't even want to accept myself. And I didn't, for years. I tried to be something I wasn't, and it only made me unhappy and feel guilty.

    I asked myself, "is this what I truly want?" "Will I be happy with this decision?" I started questioning myself like that, and found that being gay was my true self. Hope you can do the same.

    That's my 2 cents.
     
  9. Asher4heart

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    thanx man. nd that is a lot of my problem. but people in my town wouldkill me if they knew i was ne where near gay...im not even kidding
     
  10. Antrioss

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    Are you saying actual death threats or just outright resentment and ignoring you? You could actually inspire people to come out in the town, maybe turn things around? Eh?:icon_wink
     
    #10 Antrioss, Jul 24, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2008
  11. Asher4heart

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    I know but i mean actual death threats. ive seen people run out of this town for being gay...my town doesnt liek people outside of the society norm. nd yeah id love to change it...if they werent so violent lol
     
  12. Antrioss

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    Aw, that's just plain cruel. I wish I could help. All I could really do is support. :slight_smile:
     
  13. Asher4heart

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    lol its cool. People on hear have done so much for me. I really feell liek i'm becoming more comfortable in myself and i can explore possabiites that i was afraid to even think about before. All of you have been amazing. Thank you so much
     
  14. Antrioss

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    That's how I was a couple months ago. It's a great feeling knowing that you can accept yourself and actually move on to what's really important. :slight_smile:
     
  15. Asher4heart

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    yeah its hard tho...nd telling my friends...not going so well...i guess i have to chalk itup to if they were truely my friends they would support me no matter wut.