I found this forum years ago and logged in. I wanted to share things but i chose not to because i didn't know exactly how to express my feelings and thoughts. I'm here now once again. My name is Mary I'm 27 and i'm a film theorist. I really need some company because i'm feeling alone and trapped. I can't wait to meet you all and share our stories.
Hey girl! That's what EC is for, welcome back to our community! I created this account once I found a label that I felt more comfortable with. I'm still adjusting, but we can talk about when we first started questioning. I had a few outright crushes but countless "closeted" attractions for girls, but I just pushed them aside. My parents think sex is taboo so I trained myself to suppress both opposite and same sex attractions. But in the past couple years, I've had increasingly more "haunting" thoughts that I found it harder to ignore, and they made me feel incredibly guilty. That's the brunt of it, but I accepted the label of bisexuality a couple months ago and only when I did, I realized most of my behavior was coded around my awkward and toxic suppression of my same-sex attractions (social anxiety, isolation from friends, depressive episodes, a prior suicide attempt, bouts of aggression, etc) I'm not saying all this to scare you or for you to pity me, I didn't even know about it until recently if you can believe it. It's pretty much the brunt of my questioning era, and I don't know your situation but I'll try my best to understand and empathize . Oh yeah, and there's other threads if you feel more comfortable splitting up your stories (I do it too!) dedicated to gender identity, coming out advice, sexual attractions, etc. You can even post anonymous.
Thank you for your response. I'm really glad you finally accepted who you are. It's really sad to hear people denying inner peace and happiness because of toxic situations they are forced to endure. I'm really questioning my sexuality for a 2nd time. I've always known i liked girls. I was always aware of my attraction to them but fully accepted it when i was 20. So i came out as bisexual. I had no problem coming out to everyone (except family that would kill them). But now i'm wondering if i actually like men too. Because if i don't, that changes everything. I'm in relationship with someone for 7 years. He is really nice... but sexual attraction is not there..nor did i feel any attraction to men the past few years. This is killing me.. I'll soon come with a thread narrating the whole story from the very beginning. Because it's a long and complicated story.