I am not straight, most likely lesbian, but not going to pressure myself with a label. I have known I am not straight for like 2.5years , I thought i would give myself time to explore/get to know myself better. and i just never let them know, it's so easy not to let them know. i am out to a couple of friends as not straight. i fear letting my parents down, i think it would be a massive shock, i think they would need some time to process it. I think there are members of my family i shouldn't tell (i.e. catholic grandma) but ultimately I know my parents love me. but i just can't bring it up, i always find an excuse not to. i suppose this isn't a question more like a little bit of a rant to myself. anyone had a similar situation? or a way to move forward?
I am in the same boat as you, i've had those feelings for years. You feel safe inside the closet, unexposed. Except, last year i broke down and told my mom about my relationship with a girl last year she freaked out and it scared me so much that it literally changed my feelings about who i am and pushed me back where i was for years. You're lucky in that your parents might be ok with it. My mom threatened to tell my dad who is an extremely homophobic Christian man. The entire thing stresses me out daily. I wish you all the best and hope it is much better for you. Some parents surprise you positively
You are sooooo not alone in this Practically everyone in my life except my Mom & biological father know. My adoptive father, my sisters, my brothers, my friends, co-workers, everyone else know's except the two that I know will come down on me the hardest and I have the most to lose with them. To everyone else it was a "no sh*t" thing. Maybe test the waters a little? Discuss out celebrities or friends and gauge their reactions? Reinforce that being lesbian does not define you, your future, or your success any more than it does a straight persons. You will know when the time is right. When I came out to my sisters, there was just a mood in the air. We were clicking well, having deep conversations about love and life, and as corny as it sounds I feel like I was listening to their souls more than anything and it made me feel comfortable enough to just blurt it out. My outing to my friends was a bit more comical and "oops", but successful nonetheless. Don't rush anything you're not ready for. And Helenas, I'm terribly sorry to hear that about your folks---that is something that absolutely terrifies me. I hope things get better with you soon.
