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i'm not lonely i'm alone and a loser

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Hope4love, Dec 15, 2019.

  1. Hope4love

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    I thought for long that I was actually just feeling lonely because I live with my family but after sometime i'm realizing it's not just a feeling, it's real i'm actually alone, yes we are all living together and we help each other with day to day tasks, but the truth is, we don't know anything about each other, and if one of us is having a tough time emotionally, we all pretend like nothing is serious and basically we fail at giving emotional support, i thought this was something normal in all families, but now that i'm seeing how other families and friends interact with each other, i feel like i'm not even human, it's like i can't connect with anyone anymore, when I was 10 or younger it was so easy for me to connect with people and express myself and my family were very close with each other, the only thing i know that killed that chemistry is how my father chose religion over all of us, he was extremely emotionally abusive and manipulative and would make us compete with each other just so that we get closer to god in his opinion, he also kept telling me that i should only make friends with religious people because anyone other than that is a bad person.

    now i can't make friends with anyone because they will eventually realize i was alone for years, i didn't leave the house and all i did was escape reality through movies and facebook memes, i've also become really selfish and self absorbed because of how insecure i feel about myself, currently he's making me feel like i'm worthless without practicing religion, because i'm 21 I don't have a job and i'm living in his house, eating from his food i'm starting to believe that i'm actually a loser and it's killing me everyday mentally, i don't even know where to start making money from and even if I did make some money i will end up wasting them anyway because i get really depressed quickly
     
  2. Rin311

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    The little things - finding a part-time job, or maybe taking a course or joining some activity - anything to get out of the house and around other people - would be a good start. It would feel awkward at first. But getting yourself out of that environment, even for a little bit, could help you start interacting with people more and will help put you on the road to being on your own without that toxic influence in your life.
    I used to be afraid of talking to new people because I was worried they would judge me. I spent years living as an absolute loser - because my parents chose their religion over me. It took time but eventually I realized that I am not the person I used to be, despite my flaws, and that I shouldn’t be judged by it. Same goes for you. You are not your past and you are not your mistakes. You are definitely not your father’s fucked up religious ideas and should not be judged by those ideas’ impact on your life.
    You deserve way better than this. Anything you can do to get out, even for a bit, would be a good start to a new and better stage in your life. Take care.
     
    Hope4love, Chip and Dreamsexul like this.
  3. Dreamsexul

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    Just to say, hope4love, you're not a loser.
     
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  4. zuice

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    If you believe in your self-worth, you begin to appreciate the self-worth of others. You are not a loner and a loser. You are analytical and searching. Trust your heart and develop your
    mind by respecting yourself. Of course, some
    days one may feel like a loser and a loner, but one makes sure to pick oneself up again and enjoy life. Myself, I have days of searching and
    always remind myself of better days to come!
     
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  5. silverhalo

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    Hey I think it will be a journey you have to go on to move forward from the position you are in but it is totally doable. People that dont want to be friends with you because you had a period without any friends are not neccessarily people you would chose to try and be friends with. Just one step at a time.
     
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  6. LaurenSkye

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    I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like you may be clinically depressed. It's a medical condition, and it's not really something to be ashamed about. You may want to see a doctor about it. Your doctor may put you on medication or recommend a therapist for you. I was very depressed up until about a year and a half ago. I had very little self worth, I frequently got angry and at a lot of little, unimportant things. A lot of times when I got angry, to relieve my stress I would punch myself on my thigh until it bruised. I knew but punching my thigh I couldn't do any serious damage. I was never suicidal in the way that I thought about doing something to end my life, but I frequently thought to myself that if something did happen to me and I were to die that it wouldn't be so bad. I saw my doctor for the first time in about three years and only the second time in the past 10 years. He put me on a prescription anti-depressant, and it has helped a lot. I still worry about the fact that I am 38, a virgin, have no social life, no real-life friends, have never had a boyfriend, and haven't had a girlfriend since 8th grade. What would a potential partner think about that? Medication may or may not be right for you but you can still talk to your doctor about options regarding medication and/or therapy.
     
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  7. Hope4love

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    sorry to hear you were going through that, i'm feeling much better now, i only feel like that like few hours everyday is that not normal?
     
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