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I'm in a funk.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by lovetoomuch, Nov 15, 2018.

  1. lovetoomuch

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    Hey everyone, I know this is probably not the website to be going for a question like this, but this site has always been an outlet for me and I figure some people could help.

    I haven't felt right lately. I really don't know how to describe it. I have always been someone who seems to have mood swings and overthinks (FAR too much). Typically, though, I will be in a bad / sad mood for maybe 1 day per month. The next day, I feel totally better.

    Lately though, I have more bad days and every once in a while, I will feel good / okay. I will sometimes go out with friends and such - during this time, I am usually distracted and I'm okay. However, whenever I am alone or not socializing (when I'm not distracted), I get really down on myself. I feel "useless" and start questioning the purpose of life - like why am I actually here?

    Some background info: I quit my job 2 months ago because I truly was not happy in that career. I quit and for 2 weeks I felt really good. I felt like a new person. But since then, I have started feeling worse and worse. I thought quitting the job I didn't like would fix everything - but I somehow feel worse (maybe because I am not really distracted right now and have so much free time?).

    I guess the job search not going well could be a side effect. Now, though, I am always questioning life and my worth. I really can't describe the feeling in words - I just don't feel like I am actually ever going to feel better.

    I communicated this to my therapist and she didn't seem to take it too seriously. Sort of like this feeling is normal. I broke down crying in front of her this past week and I rarely ever cry.

    I am just worried because its been a 1.5 months now. My family tries to talk to me and I just don't want to interact with them. I am basically closing people out at this rate. Again, I just don't feel right. Those scary, self-harm thoughts have run through my mind in the past (dating back to like 5 years ago), but I never acted on them and don't think I ever could. But I worry about reaching that point one day.

    I don't even think getting a job will help at this rate, because these "what is the point of life" thoughts seem to control my life everyday recently. I feel like one of the few things keeping me going at this rate is that hope of one day finding love - that is sad to say, but very true. It's one of the few things that motivates me to wake up the next day.

    If anyone has experienced something similar or has advice, it would be appreciated. Thank you.
     
    UMedusa likes this.
  2. alwaysforever

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    I am surprised that your therapist didn't take this seriously. With quitting your job and all of the change, good or bad, it has completely upset your routine. Too much change all at once causes increased stress. It's pretty much unavoidable. There is a chance you are experiencing an episode of depression, or are undergoing the normal grieving processes for a transition in your life. Talking to your therapist again about it or getting a second opinion would be a great start. Trust your gut if you think you might be depressed.
     
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  3. Fishtail

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    If your Therapist don't take you worries that you wrote here serious,
    it's best to find a new therapist or a psychologist who takes you serious.

    Meanwhile how about you volunteer at a pet shelter and if you think you can
    handle it (and if where you live allows it) maybe foster a pet in the future.
    Knowing you can give love to a animal who may never have experienced it
    really do wonder to our emotional health and may give perspective when we feel lost.
     
    #3 Fishtail, Nov 16, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
  4. UMedusa

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    If anyone has experienced something similar or has advice, it would be appreciated. Thank you.[/QUOTE]

    I have felt that way before. For my situation, I turned to alcohol. When that got bad, I replaced it with pot. When that got bad, I tried drinking in moderation. Then, I'd rebound with a binge series and stop for a while, and so on... I never really addressed anything to "fix" my anxiety and dissatisfaction. If you are drinking, you might want to stop. The physical effects can be PROFOUND for some people, causing major imbalances in brain chemistry.

    If you are not drinking, here is what I found through gaining sobriety, which you may find useful. I was drinking because my life was all messed up. Removing substances completely was super helpful in a relatively short period of time. But I had to learn to replace my down times with ANYTHING but wallowing in it, so it wouldn't lead me to drink. There's a lot of support out there for people dealing with addiction and how to keep from going off the rails. I didn't drink for many years of my life, but I have struggled with situational depression and anxiety for most of it. The techniques of self-care to keep me sober were the most helpful thing I've ever found for also keeping me happy, or at least going in a positive direction.

    Finally, here is a blog article that explains the concept, Choose Your Hard. I love the concept and found the article really clarifying. I hope you will read the whole thing and find it helpful. http://theshrinkonyourcouch.com/chooseyourhard/
    I am sorry your counselor was apathetic. I've experienced that sort of thing too. I think I was kind of looking for comfort and sucking people dry, and then it was heartbreaking to me when they weren't as comforting as I needed them to be. It does hurt, the pain is real. I hope you are able to work out of your funk. You are not alone. <3
     
  5. UMedusa

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    One last thought... because of the having too much free-time. Research shows that people who have multiple ways they can form and express identity, have an easier time with hardship than those who have only a few. Your job maybe wasn't satisfying who you wanted to be, and good for you kicking it to the curb! But even crappy jobs are sort of who we are. We are so and so, who gets paid to hate such and such job! :slight_smile:

    Right now I really encourage you to try some new hobbies. Put yourself out there a little on some meet up groups or local venues. See what you like and ground yourself a little so you can project who you are and see it back clearly in the reflections of others. Sometimes we just see other people and who they make us want to be, and when they (or the distractions) are gone, it gets uncomfortable.