I just came out to myself a couple of months ago. I've dated and had sex with guys before and needless to say I didn't like it. Now that I know I'm gay, it's extremely clear to me that I don't want to have sex with men. At the same time though, the thought of having sex with another woman is a little uncomfortable to me. Is this something you get used to / is it all part of the process of coming out to yourself? A year ago, when I didn't even know I was gay, I would have been weirded out by the thought of kissing another girl and now I'm totally cool with it and it seems natural. I've definitely grown more comfortable with the thought of kissing girls or holding hands or cuddling, so maybe it's just farther down the timeline for me. It just kinda freaks me out and I'm worried that I'll never be okay with it.
What you're feeling is completely normal. Having sex with a women is uncharted territory for you. Everyone is scared of the unknown. If you meet a woman with whom you'd like to be intimate with then you might feel less freaked out.
I don't think there's anything to add to this, really. Completely agreed to it all. I guess I can also add that for many people, although the thought is scary at first, some of that is because you've internalized that it's supposed to be bad, or bad for you...that there's something wrong with it. But as you get used to the idea that you are attracted to women and there is nothing with this...and nothing wrong with sex between two women...and start giving yourself permission to explore what it might actually be like...curiosity may start to take hold and give rise to anticipation, excitement, and desire. So give it time. But ultimately I agree with Gabby...when you meet someone with whom you're comfortable with being intimate, the freak-out will lessen.
Yep, I totally went through that thought process. I went from being slightly scared of the idea of lesbianism to admitting to myself that I sort of wanted to kiss some girls but not quite liking the idea of lesbian sex (and feeling that was proof enough that I was still as straight as I had thought) to getting a bit obsessed with lesbian erotic fiction and porn and realising it ain't that scary but still being not too sure to being completely open to (and excited by (though still with that hint of nervousness)) the idea of lesbian sex. I think it's pretty normal.
I am feeling the same ! I came out to myself as bi/pansexual over half year ago and about a year ago, it was repulsive for me to think about kissing a woman, but then I fell for a girl and well, here we are. I'm also scared of having sex with women and not really insterested in it (though if I have a crush, then I am), but thinking about all those "sensual" things like cuddling and kissing take me to the clouds. So, I think it's normal. We both just have to get used to the thought about it
Best case senario When it happens you'll enjoy it - Right person right time Enjoy today - tomor not here yet
When I was first questioning my sexuality (about 13 years old) I even thought kissing girls was a scary thought, thinking about sleeping with them made my stomach sick and now I'm waiting for the opportunity to sleep with a girl! So yes, it is something to get use to, at least it was for me so don't feel bad. Stay true xx
