Hi all, I've come here hoping to figure some things out in a friendly environment where I can ask questions and share experiences without fear. I was married for 20 years, have 2 grown children and 1 grandchild. I've never been with another woman, but have recognized my attractions and desires for quite some time. I have never spoken of this to anyone and I seriously doubt anyone knows how I feel. As far as the LGBT movement has come - especially with the younger generation - I think that it would be very hard for many young adults to deal with a parent coming out. Even if they are generally supportive of others being gay. My kids are very open-minded but I still think it would totally freak them out to know what goes on in my head. And I think there may be a bit of embarrassment, too. Have any of you had to deal with telling your adult kids that you're gay?
Welcome to EC! Although I don't have much advice to offer pertaining to your situation, I know that there are several (mind the term) "older" members, who have come out later in life. Many of who had children, so you are definitely not alone on EC. Welcome to the community.
Welcome to EC! There is at least one person who has come out to his kids. Link to his post: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/87345-came-out-my-2-kids.html ---------- Post added 16th Mar 2013 at 04:40 PM ---------- This might also probably apply if you in an active straight relationship. Let's be honest: many people do not want to think about their parents having any sexuality whatsoever.
Thank you! And I just noticed this area of the forum, and that this thread was moved - totally cool with that since I hadn't really looked around for its proper placement before I started it.
You're welcome! This part of the forum is probably the most useful for someone in your situation. Although there are no specific rules saying you have to spend your whole time here, of course. I personally have found that I've learned a lot reading about the experiences of younger members. Some things are universal, regardless of age. Other things help me understand parts of my past history better.
Hi, You are in for a huge wake up call! You are unique as re-runs of Seinfeld! We are EVERYWHERE! :-: Stuck
Welcome to EC, it seems we are the "tail-end of the baby-boom generation" (I hate being called a Boomer, I am not a part of that bunch!) Most of us "elders" seem to be from the late fifties, early sixties, I find that quite interesting...
Skipped kids and went right to grandchildren. I have a step daughter and step son, but they are grown. In process of coming out right now. So far, wife, brother, a few close friends... Someday, everyone. Welcome to EC!
Again, no specific advice for you, as was linked to before, PeteNJ did it and it went amazingly well for him, and his daughter is 25 (and a 16 year old son). Welcome to EC, all of us, even us "old fogeys", have found it to be a welcoming place, and I'm sure that you will too!
Hey Hand in Hand, welcome to EC! (*hug*) I think you'll find a lot of people here going through a similar period in their life. I can't answer your question directly, but I do think it might be valuable to ask yourself some important questions. You're 51 years old. You've still got a whole lot of living left to do. Do you plan to spend the next 30+ years alone and single? You've raised two kids, dealt with one husband, and now perhaps for the first time in a long time - your life is really your own again. Certainly, your children (and Grandchild) will always depend on you, but your children are adults now. They're going off to live their own lives, and raise their own families. Do you think you deserve a chance to do something for yourself now that they're grown? My advice to you is not worry about your children at the moment. Go out and live your life. Find out where lesbians and bisexual women around your age hang out, then go and try and make some new friends. Not necessarily a relationship, just friends. I think if you give yourself permission to just live your life for yourself that the solution to this problem will eventually present itself. I think eventually you'll meet someone special, or you'll just grow confident enough in yourself where you'll want to be honest with your children. And if or when you decide to come out to them, just remember while they may be adults, you'll always be their mother. Whether your gay, straight, or bi nothing can change that fact.
This really hit home for me - thank you! I truly am free to do what I want, and keep "putting off" going out to look for a b/f or future husband, not really knowing why. I like your suggestion of just going to places where I can meet other women and just make some friends. It's like jumping off a regular diving board rather than the high diving board :icon_wink
I'm glad I could help. (*hug*) I think a good place to get started is to go to Meetup.com and look for LGBT / Lesbian meetups in your area. The entire purpose of a meetup is to meet new people, so the situation would likely be less awkward. Outside of that, think of what types of hobbies you have and then look for groups who are interested in the same thing. If you don't have any hobbies then try out new things like yoga, volunteering, get politically active on an issue that you feel strongly about, take a pottery class, or maybe an art class. There are lots of options open to you where you can meet new people. However, I'd focus on the LGBT / Lesbian Group first. I'm pretty sure people will be meeting somewhere in your area.
I forgot all about Meetup groups - used to do some things years ago with a few groups. You are just full of good ideas today ! :eusa_danc
Self realization and coming in terms with who we are.Finding the answer to that big question: Who am I . That is the purpose of life. As we live our lives and become wiser, more aware and understand that we are more than this body. Be in peace with it my friend, It is okay. you are who you are , you are loved no matter what. I wish you the best in this great journey xo
