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I'm a closeted trans boy and idk what to do

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by croftrs147, Jul 20, 2019.

  1. croftrs147

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2019
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So I’m pretty sure I am a boy (FTM) (still that small part of me that says I’m just trying to get attention or that I should just deal with it) but I can’t really come out to any of my family because they’re all transphobic, or to teachers when school starts up again because what if they start calling me he/him at parent teacher conferences? So I’ve come out to my close friends that have been supportive and I've started introducing myself by my nickname (Jo). But other than that and wearing slightly less feminine clothes (that I already own), I haven’t really done anything. I also can’t really shop in boys or mens sections because I’m with my parents when I go shopping (until March when I get my license). Does anyone have suggestions on what I can do? (I’m also hoping to get a haircut soon so if anyone has suggestions on hairstyles that wouldn’t send off alarms for my parents I’d really appreciate them).
     
  2. Flynn S

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    84
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome to EC, Jo!

    There's a couple things you can do.

    First, regarding your teachers, you could work out a system where they refer to you will he/him pronouns in class and not around your parents if that makes you comfortable. If there is a teacher you are close/comfortable with you could discuss these things with them.

    In terms of clothing, if you are interested in binding, you could have a friend order a binder for you, or order it yourself if you feel safe doing so. Most packages are relatively discrete so this shouldn't be an issue unless you think someone would open it. Same thing with clothes. You could go shopping with a friend (i.e. see if they can drive, their parents drive, take public transport). Obviously this is all assuming you have your own money. If you don't, you could still ask friends for help. They could gift you some clothes or perhaps pass on some old/unwanted clothes from siblings (if they have any). Unisex clothing was always my go-to, which can also (although in my experience, rarely) be found in the women's section.

    For haircuts, I'd recommended googling some short masculine women's haircuts. Pixie cuts might work. These will be short enough to arrange in a style that could help you pass while still feminine enough for your family not to be suspicious.