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If sexual orientation were a choice, what would you choose?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tritri, Jul 26, 2021.

  1. Elle82

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    A few times a week, at least, I remember I'm finally all out, away from the awful relationship, and with my wife. Every time it's a huge relief. I think it's more than choosing to be who I am in this life. If I had a blank slate of sexual orientation to choose from I'd still choose to be a lesbian.
     
  2. SamtheGremlin

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    I used to think I was ace and panromantic. Idk I'm kinda glad I figured I'm not ace, not saying ace people can't be in relationsionships but idk I'd feel like it be harder for me to find a partner if I wasn't pan ig.
     
  3. SamtheGremlin

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    Idk I'd change my sexuality only because of my family issues and drama :frowning2: but that's not worth trying to do anyway lol
     
  4. JT1999

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    After a long time questioning I think I am comfortable saying that I am bisexual. I do suspect eventually I will end up falling in love and marrying a man and having a fairly convenitonal relationship/family.
     
  5. johndeere3020

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    For most of my life if I could have found the "lgbt tumor" I would have cut it out with a spoon. Now, I think I wouldn't change a thing, bisexual.
     
  6. Jynx07

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    probably would choose to be straight. itd make things a lot easier on me
     
  7. mirzatera180

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    I kind of feel like over the past 6 years or so I've felt less and less interest in people in general, regardless of gender. It's kind of made me wonder if I'm more asexual than I originally believed.
     
  8. Blueplanets

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    I like being a lesbian. I feel lucky to be attracted to women. Have you looked at them? I get along great with men but I don't like the way heterosexual relationships ask the woman to sacrifice everything "for her man, for her family" in my society.
     
  9. JackRabbit

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    Had you asked when I was younger, mind you I was out of the closet in small-town Texas at 14, I would have said “stay gay.” As you get older, you start to realize that there are not just social costs to being gay, there are economic costs. While certainly not universally an issue, there are economic benefits to marriage, raising a family or having a combined income, etc.

    You can do those things as an LGBTQ+ person, sure. But not with the options straight people have. Straight, committed couples don’t have to go to support groups to meet other straight, committed couples.

    Part of me sees how quickly things have changed for LGBTQ+ people over the past 38 years, and as a result, are enthused that things will be equally different for them when they’re my age today.

    Another part of me sees that certain aspects of that possibility are being walked back by this brush fire of open relationships, and polyamory, etc., so prevalent amongst young people here in Seattle. While I was always too jealous to participate in polyamory when I was younger, I do see the what’s captivating by it. But I also see it eroding a lot of the progress the LGBTQ+ movement has made, over the past 20 years in years in particular. Just six years ago, we got marriage legalized.. now it’s passé.

    I hope that trend turns around because of the economic value in being a part of a family unit. It would also change my initial response.

    Sort of a rambly response and one that, on its face, puts a dollar value on relationships. But economic security is a huge cost for most LGBTQ people, as associated with membership in the club.
     
  10. JohnIsSuffering

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    It’s hard to imagine me not being gay and I’m perfectly happy being gay but I’d say bisexual. Maybe straight cause I do wish that sometimes.
     
  11. Jakebusman

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    I couldn't imagine not being Bi wouldn't change it for the world.
     
  12. BlueLion

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    I'm in peace with being gay. So, probably, it would be weird for me to be anything different, haha. If I could choose, I'd keep on being like this; it's way too cool. :wink:
     
  13. Persion

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    I'm going with Asexual. I started as bisexual but felt that it wasn't right for me. I found out that I was ace, and since then I've felt happy about my sexuality. I do have a gf(I don't know when I'm going to propose yet) though, which many people don't get.
     
  14. LilLady9

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    If sexual orientation were my choice, I would choose in this order:
    1. Bisexual (which I am)
    2. Straight
    3. Gay
    (I only chose 3 because they are the only sexual orientations I have any interest in being.)

    Not only is bisexual my first choice because it's true to who I am, I also absolutely love it and enjoy its many perks. For example, some people will say things like, "you have more options," which is absolutely true, and I love it.

    My second choice is straight because even though I am a cisgender bisexual, I do prefer women. So, if I wasn't bisexual, it would make the most sense.

    I chose gay as my third option because even though I prefer women, I absolutely love men and have an insatiable desire for penis.
     
  15. TinyWerewolf

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    Ace or straight.
     
  16. Sleeping Owl

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    Gay here, would probably pick pansexual or bi, but I'm happy as I am. I've met some wonderful people after coming out, and it's very freeing to get to be myself. If I were a straight, sometimes I wonder if I'd be as free-spirited and comfortable operating outside of society's normal expectations.
     
  17. bambibat

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    I’d choose to be lesbian. I’m bi but for a long time believed I was lesbian as I only had serious crushes on girls/women. Until in adulthood I realised I wasn’t, and it kind of messed me up for a short while. I couldn’t accept the fact that I was actually bisexual — personally I wouldn’t date a man, so the fact I have that minimal attraction feels useless to me. There are also a lot of negative stereotypes about bi women that sorta whittle my self esteem.
     
  18. IamIronMan

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    I don't know. Life throws at you what life throw at you.

    I am questioning bisexual, but I haven't accepted it in my 20s at all which caused me to have big FOMO in my youth.
    I also struggled with poverty, I am in much better place right now regarding that.

    I think that because I haven't accepted my sexuality I have been trying to fit in society in wrong way and with wrong people which led me to a lot of conflict. Also I regret that I haven't done anything about one of my girl crush who ended up with my close friend which led me to bad emotional state.

    I really do envy straight people because it seems that they can be themselves much more openly, but I also realized that is not true for all straight people. I think that attractive and better social standing people can get away easier with much more authenticity. There are a lot of unhappy straight people also. And, of course, being straight doesn't mean your particular personality fits into your social surrounding.

    I also wanted to be asexual once, because it seems that not be bothered with dating and sexuality is much easier. But since I don't know many asexuals or what experiences, fears and problem they face, I cannot say I want to be one.

    In my society almost no-one is out of closet because everyone is very prejudicial. I sometimes wish I would be gay because I think that it would be much easier to explain to people than being bisexual. I didn't started coming out to people and this is one of my biggest concerns.

    So to sum it up, everybody's experience is pretty nuanced and unique. :thinking:
     
  19. BiShark

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    It's a hard question to answer. I think I'd remain as I am (bi) as I am comfortable with that. The only thing I'd want to change would be to figure it out a little bit faster.
     
  20. Chromesparks

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    I have to say I would agree with you, I don't think I would wish being gay for anyone. It's a more difficult path.
    That being said, perspective is important. I often think that being gay wasn't the choice I would have preferred for this lifetime in terms of comfort, but that maybe it's a path I needed to experience for a reason bigger than me.
    Some perks:
    - As someone who lives outside the norm, it's a lot easier for me to question society and mainstream values compared to people who have an easier time fitting in. There's a sense of fresh perspective and fearlessness you can start to acquire.
    - From an evolutionary perspective, my lifestyle means I can provide additional resources and perspective for my family unit, if theyre open to it.
    - You can invite people to be unapologetically who they are. When they accept the assignment, it's amazing what you can witness.
    - Your mere existence, and struggles with existence, can make people question how free they really are and help them build compassion within themselves for others.
    - I really think gay people know what trends are going to happen before straight people do. We're ahead of the curve in terms of art and culture.
    - While it can be difficult, there's a sense of freedom that the straights are less likely to acquire when we reject the mores and expectations mainstream society places on people

    Downsides:
    - Homophobia/discrimination and ingrained feelings of a hell path
    - Monogamy and great relationships are harder to obtain given the dating pool and lifestyle. Given the housing market, this can be tough to swallow.
    - I won't produce kids unless I am rich.
    - Increased risk of mental health issues and STDs
    - Self-awareness can be more difficult
    - The isolation and loneliness- although I think thats become pretty commonplace in the current landscape