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If sexual orientation were a choice, what would you choose?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tritri, Jul 26, 2021.

  1. Tritri

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    Of the four main ones (and really, the only sexual orientations I understand and recognize), I would choose in this order:
    1. asexual
    2. bisexual
    3. straight (gynophilia)
    4. gay (androphilia)
    My reasoning here is that the way my brain is wired, it is almost impossible for me to make regular friends, let alone someone to be my romantic partner. I've never had one and likely never will, in which case it's best if I never like anyone to begin with, so I pick asexual.
    Barring that, if I did have sexual attraction, it would be best to have my dating pool as big as possible, so I'd pick bisexual for #2.
    If I couldn't be bisexual, the next best choice would be straight, since again my dating pool with women would be a lot bigger than with men.
    The worst sexual orientation for me is being gay, since the dating pool is so small on top of having horrible social skills. And guess which one I ended up with...

    So what would you pick if it were a choice?
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    An interesting question. Many years ago, when I was overwhelmed with shame I would have never chosen to be gay. To have to come out and keep coming out, taking that constant walk into the unknown with other people and their reactions seemed so daunting, but as the years have passed I have become a lot more confident in my sexuality. I have met some fantastic people in the wider LGBT+ community; people who have a good heart and strong moral and social compass who I really connect to, so much so in fact, that I can now say I am glad to be gay.

    Many people falsely assume it is easier to be straight, but I'm not so sure about that. LGBT+ people are forced to confront issues and put in a lot of self work to move forward and live their best life. In contrast, I have met many straight people whose lives are an utter clusterfuck, with all sorts of unresolved problems. Nobody has told them that life isn't a bed of roses, free of effort, so they tend to drift from crisis to crisis, never looking inward and never addressing their problems... which are ultimately cast onto partners and children. I'm not suggesting this is always true, but I have seen it often enough to know that the grass ain't greener on the straight, bi or asexual side of the fence. Whatever we are... whoever we are... we have to learn to master our own destiny.
     
  3. BlueMonday

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    Perfectly happy being gay. So, that's what I'd choose.
     
  4. Vega222

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    Straight.
     
  5. tidalpool127

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    Hmm, I already identify as gay but I would choose gay, but this time 100% gay. I say this because honestly I'm sort of bisexual. What I mean is, out on the street I find both men and women attractive. I'm drawn to both male and female bodies, but when it comes to,uh, below the belt I am 10x more attracted to the male anatomy. I actually am attracted to the idea of most sexual things with women, but in my past experience I just can't go all the way with a woman.

    Because of this, I'd choose just to have gay sexual attractions. I'm not ashamed I have bisexual attractions, but I just identify as gay because a)I'm married to another man, b)even if I was not married I would only pursue long-term relationships with other men, and c) I just don't see myself in a long-term relationship with a woman. I'd probably wake up everyday terrified that I can't satisfy her and that I'm not enough for her. So, yeah I'd choose 100% gay.
     
  6. elli0x

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    I would choose asexual and straight but I am bi and sometimes I feel more lesbian than bi.
     
  7. Shorthaul

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    I'm cool with being bi, its not always great but its pretty good most of the time
     
  8. Mihael

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    I would still want to be bi but would want to know that earlier to date a girl in high school.
     
  9. Canterpiece

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    If you'd asked me this when I was fourteen, I would have most likely have jumped at the chance to become straight. However, the idea of doing so now is just...I struggle to imagine not liking women and I like being gay. Sure, it makes dating more difficult, but I've met some great people in the community and it's as much a part of me as having brown eyes. It doesn't completely define me, yet I know that I would fundamentally be a different person without it.
     
  10. Loves books

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    I’m a lesbian and I’d probably choose that but going back to when I was younger I probably would have chosen bi.
     
  11. MauiWanderer

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    Honestly, either asexual or bisexual. Take it from a nerdy introverted straight guy, being straight kind of sucks!

    I kind of feel like over the past 6 years or so I've felt less and less interest in people in general, regardless of gender. It's kind of made me wonder if I'm more asexual than I originally believed.
     
  12. BiGemini87

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    I've made my peace with being bi, so I think if it were a choice, I would go with it. When it comes to bi-specific issues, I find the only ones that are daunting are the ones thrust upon me by other people (I.e. both straight and gay people who are uncomfortable with those who bear attraction to more than just the opposite or the same sex). Otherwise, I don't mind the fact that I occasionally get whiplash when I find attractive men and women occupying the same space.

    In all honesty, there are things I wish I could have changed about myself, especially in my youth--but how strange that the one thing that scared me when first I admitted it to myself isn't one of them.
     
  13. Unsure77

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    I wish I had accepted that I’m gay about 20-30 years sooner. Given the religious environment I was in and the home life I was leaving, I’m not sure being straight would’ve magically fixed my life. I think I would’ve barreled into an oppressive, likely bad marriage.

    That and I wish I had sought therapy in college. I was clinically depressed and trying to white knuckle my way through it (and did it badly).
     
  14. Ingvermama

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    I can’t choose! (I’m bi!!!) I think I would choose to be a lesbian, girls are so pretty and I just think it would be the best.
     
  15. old tacoma

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  16. BothWaysSecret

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    Probably still choose bisexual. Why deny yourself options and limit to just one thing?
     
  17. Mihael

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    Exactly!
     
  18. BirdWatcher87

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    As a bisexual, I think I would remain the same way I am now. It’s a great feeling to be able to have feelings for both genders, even if men are just a physical/sexual attraction, it makes my heart feel good!
     
  19. meltyblood

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    I'd probably choose straight when I was younger or something. I dunno. But now... Eh. I don't really care.
     
  20. out2019

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    Yes me too, as the shame went away and I would wallow back and forth, I remember a pivotal moment, when I wished the self doubt about being gay would just go away!

    This is a very refreshing and empowering viewpoint and I feel the same.

    Being gay is such an integral part of who I am I don't think it's just one aspect of yourself you can change (if it were a choice) without being an entirely different you. It's like asking a butterfly do you wish you could swim? Well to swim you wouldn't be a butterfly anymore.