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Idk how to break out of the lonely life

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ArminMin, Oct 16, 2017.

  1. ArminMin

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So yeah..what the title says.
    I have been lonely for years, I suck at talking to people and idk what to do about it.
    My life is so dull and I feel like Im wasting all my time... Im 23..actually 24 soon... and I have no friends, no love interest and nobody tho share thoughts with. I go to work in the morning, I come home in the evening and then i just game and watch stuff etc. Every day is the same and I wouldnt even make it through all this if i wouldnt have my bunnies.
    Yes I live with my family and theres nice people at work but they dont know im trans and i seriously dont have the power to tell anyone in rl. I have been on a cosplay convention just this weekend bc i know some people there but one thing that will always chain me at those events is my sister. She is always with me on conventions and she is kind of transphobic and even homopobic. I dont think she always does it on purpose but she says things that hurt me and make me uncomfortable and it keeps me from telling any of the other people we know from conventions. Shes living a normal hetero life with a steady relationship, job, friends...of course she isnt rly thinking about all the stuff that goes through my head.

    So the only option for me rn is having internet friends to turn to...which im obviously too dumb to make.
    Im an artsy person, as I mentioned I cosplay on conventions and I do art and some other things and I need some reassurance about it from time to time, otherwise i lose motivation rly easily. Ive been running some sites on social media for years. Sadly I have never been lucky there...I may be not handsome enough or too shy or something...I really dont know. Also whenever I took the first step it never actually worked out and Im at a point where im just too scared and too depressed to even try...I mean yeah this is kind of a try in a way but Im just a coward waiting for someone to reach out to me I guess. It feels dumb honestly but I just dont wanna be alone, I dont wanna die either but if this kind of life goes on for longer idk how long I can take it.
    People will always just tell me to keep trying right? Idk if I can, bc if rly nobody is caring then wheres the point..

    Sorry for writing so much bullshit^^' ...theres probably nobody whos gonna read through all this anyway...
     
    #1 ArminMin, Oct 16, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2017
  2. Sebby45

    Full Member

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    Location:
    The Black Order
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey ArminMin,

    I know what you are talking about. Especially about reaching out to people. It never works out for me either. I too, want someone to reach out to me, and for things to just work out. I have a pet as well, that helps me with the lonely, but when all is said and done, we want human connection, right? I know I do. I get so lonesome it hurts badly.

    I'm sorry about your sister. That must be really hurtful. I don't know if I could take it. :frowning2:

    I think it is awesome that you cosplay and go to conventions! I'd love to do stuff like that.

    All I can say is don't let your brain trick you into thinking you are not worth it. That is what I have to fight as well. It helps you keep going. That said, you can always post on my profile if you want to chat to someone...
     
  3. ArminMin

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2017
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It sucks doesnt it?
    Honestly Ive been trying to live just on my own many times. People say that when you love yourself youre gonna be happy but I dont think thats true... for me it turned the totally opposite way. Sometimes Im feeling worthelsss and depressed but other times I like myself and get angry why nobody else sees me and then it turns into depression again..its like a circle.
    Honestly I have no clue how to go on about talking to people on here other than in the forums ^^' just joined a while ago.
    Also thanks for reading tho.