Greetings all, been awhile since I posted or even used the forums for that matter, but I'm in a mood and I need to vent. I recently turned 46 and I have been living with parents my whole life. My dad died in Jan. 7, 2008. It's been my mom and I since. Fast forward a few years and I came out to my mom in a process that took me awhile to find myself as trans. Her first reaction to coming out as trans was 'not my child'. Over time she softened slightly allowing me to wear girly clothes, but after seeing me in them for awhile she told me I needed to stop. Nowadays, I live my life outwardly as male and I am out to as many people as I can be...I even came out to my sister last Thanksgiving. Lately my mom has been extremely agitated and easily snapping at me for perceived slights (today she accused me of drinking whole milk straight, it is meant for our coffee). I get the feeling that she resents me and having to put up wit having me live with her. There are days I go to bed and wish to not wake up the next day...I've dealt with suicidal ideation my whole life. It's just that more and more, the less I am able to live the life I want, the more I wish for bad things to happen to my mom or that I would just stop being alive. I am nowhere near being able to take my own life and I sure as hell don't want to. People say that it will get better, nothing lasts forever. I could do without this hell I am living through.