I've been feeling incredibly lonely lately. I only have one person that I feel is a genuine friend that actually cares enough about me to put effort into our friendship. It's a bit complicated though as we're more like FWB than just friends, they're also on the other side of the country for most of the year. I hung out with some old friends from high school recently at one of their weddings and it's just not the same. I feel much different now than I did back then, and most of them have changed at least a little too so it feels like we just don't know each other as well anymore. I need new friends, but I don't know how to make friends now that I'm not in school anymore. I don't really enjoy socializing that much. I tend to avoid going out and doing things because it feels much less threatening/awkward to sit at home playing videogames or watching YouTube. I know confidence is like a muscle, it needs to be exercised, but I don't know where to start, if I even can, or how I would meet like minded people if I do actually try. I'd also like to have more friends that are LGBTQ or at least strong allies so I have some kind of support structure if I want to come out. I went to a private, Catholic high school, so I'm not sure my friends from back then would be that supportive. I feel like they'd tolerate it, but maybe feel a bit awkward if I told them about it. My FWB that I mentioned before and I both would like to make our relationship more official at some point, which would probably mean me moving out to where they are. I have no idea how soon something like that would happen if at all because I don't feel like I'm in the best spot to do that right now. The more time passes, the more tempting it's getting though. I don't want to make a bunch of friends here only to move across the country at some point in the near future. At the same time I feel like moving across the country would sort of allow me to reinvent myself and try to figure out who I actually am without worrying if it would affect how people I already know view me. I just wish I had the confidence to explore myself a little more because I feel like I've kind of lost track of who I am over the last few years. I don't really like myself that much at the moment, so I just feel like something about me needs to change, but I don't know what or how to change it.