I want to come out to my parents, especially my mum. My friend and her sister(who we'll call Jane) are out to their mum, the sister even runs an LGBT account that we are admins on. Their mum even follows it. I actually came back from a sleepover at their place in which me, my two friends, and Jane all talked about gayness openly in front of their mother. That combined with the fact my own mum doesn't know anything of my sexuality... that kinda hurts. My life now includes so much gayness, which means I have to hide so much of my life from her. I probably seem so suspicious with everything I'm obviously trying to hide from her, that I wouldn't be surprised if she already knew. I would usually tell my mum everything. I want to tell her about all the funny and amazing things that happened at that sleepover, I want to tell her about the LGBT club I go to every Tuesday and all the shenanigans we get up to, I want to tell her why I dress up the way I do, why I act the way I do. I want to talk to my mum about my life again. I want to come out but I'm scared, I don't want her to tell my dad. He can be close minded sometimes, and we can get in bad arguments very easily. That and I'm not sure I want to come out to someone who's not supportive of a lot of things I do/want to do and thinks I'm useless. But I'd feel bad for coming out to my mum, and asking her to keep that from my dad. I don't want her to keep a secret like this from him, who knows how long it'll take until I'm ready to tell him? 2 weeks? a month? 6 months? 2 years? I can't make my mum do that. But besides that I'm alright telling her. If she doesn't approve then that's fine. Don't get me wrong, it will hurt, but I can just ask my friend if I can stay the night at her supportive household on some days. If I get kicked out (which I highly doubt will happen), then once again, I'll stay with my friend until something better is worked out, probably try get a part-time job while I'm at it. I got it all worked out.. kinda. So here's where I really need a second opinion and some advice; Is it really a good idea to come out to my mum first and make her keep it a secret from my dad until I'm ready to tell him too? Is there any way I can come out that won't make it all awkward and stuff? I was thinking that straight up telling her while she takes me to school would be a good idea. She might get distracted while driving depending on how much of a surprise it is, but I'm really hoping that it won't be as awkward since she'll be going off to work once I've told her. Would that be a good idea? I don't know... I need someone's opinion and advice.
Hey, I was in a similar situation to you, after a while I wanted to tell my mum but I didn't really want my dad to know. I ended up telling my mum and I asked her to keep it a secret and so far she has, I think asking your mum to keep it a secret is a good idea, especially if you're not ready to tell your dad and she'll understand that. Ultimately it will most likely feel awkward when you first tell her but that won't last long, telling her on the ride to school could be a good idea, if you're worried about it being awkward take into consideration how long it takes for you to get there. If you don't want to say something and make it awkward you could write her a letter and leave it on the seat for her to read when you get out of the car that way she has time to process it when she goes to work (which is what I did) Goodluck and I hope everything goes well
Thank you soooo much, that may sound sarcastic but it's really not. I'm so happy to know that I'm not the only one who was in this kind of situation. I like the idea of leaving a letter on the seat, I'm contemplating doing that now. Although at the same time I'd like to do that face to face and not be dreading what she'll say to me when she gets home from work. But I think It'd also be better if she could process that on her way to work... Anyway, thank you
