Hi guys, I'm a 16 year old girl and i feel so lost. I just broke up with my 1 year long boyfriend when realising i loved him but was never in love with him (didnt feel any lust) . I dont even know if i even liked him very much. Tbh if im at all gay in some way, i wouldnt mind if i was bi because then i would still like guys and especially for family and stuff so it could be 'hidden' in some way. Reasons why i think I could be bi/gay: -I've only got obsessed with female celebrities and fangirling -I might have had a crush/infatuation with a girl but she's 21(for some reason i only get 'crushes' on girls who are like at least 4,5 years older than me -I can only read this particular string of lesbian clexa (The 100) fan fiction but i intentionally dont read the smut bits. -only had crushes on the 'obvious' straight girl types and never on the stereotypical lesbians. -This new guy likes me but i don't think i like him, i dont know. -I've only gotten butterflies with my 2 real life people girl crushes. Reasons i could be straight: -Never had a crush on a girl my age -Kissed a girl but felt nothing. -Only had like 6 but only guy 'sex dreams'. -Any dreams to do with any of my girl crushes have never been sexual, only like becoming good friends with them. -I've only felt 'lust' with one guy but that was when i was 13 so maybe hormones hadn't kicked in yet? I have never told anyone this and i guess i'm only brave enough because this is virtual so i would appreciate your thoughts xx
Hello, I’ll start by saying that as much as I wish I could tell you what your sexual orientation is, as I know how frustrating it can be not knowing, I can’t, no one can know but you. However, by the sounds of it you are attracted to girls, if you have had crushes on them, but it doesn’t need to be as clear cut as straight or gay, or even bi. Sexuality is on a spectrum and within that you can identify as whatever you want and feel comfortable with. For example there could be a straight man who is attracted to woman 95% and men 5% or a bisexual person who is attracted to men 65% and women 35% etc. It can’t really be split into percentages like that but I hope you understand the point I am making. As well as that there are other sexualities you might want to explore, like asexual or pansexual. It can be scary not understanding or even not liking your identity but you can come to terms with who you are, whatever it is you discover, and you will be accepted! Experimenting with and exploring your sexuality is a great way of finding out who you are and who you are attracted to. You might want to try flirting with, or going on a date with or even kissing (whatever you feel comfortable with) people of either sex and finding out what you like and don’t like. Not feeling anything from a kiss doesn’t necessarily mean anything either, it could mean you weren’t attracted to that particular person, or the kiss wasn’t good, or you weren’t in the mood, or even that you don’t feel attraction to people sexually. Whoever you are, you will find people who will accept you. I hope my advice helped at all, if not I truly am sorry. I wish you luck in your endeavours!
