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I want to be out at college...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Margaret, Feb 25, 2017.

  1. Margaret

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    Other than wearing a pride shirt idk how, I'm a femme lesbian so everyone assumes I'm straight, and it's actually very awkward because male professors/students act tense around me or like there is some sexual tension when all I'm feeling is awkwardness. I also have two jobs on campus so I'd REALLY like to be out. How did you go about being out on campus? Do I literally have to wear something rainbow, cuz I will. Dressing more boyish isn't an option for me, idk why but it makes me uncomfortable :/ Is there a way to dress femme AND gay I don't know about?
     
  2. annieonmymind

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    i haven't actually been to college yet so i may not be the best person to answer this, but college is kind of what's been in the back of my mind for when i would like to be finally openly out.

    honestly, a lot of people - straight people - won't realize what's right in front of them. is there an LGBT club at your college that you can join to maybe "get word around"? if not, there's always the option of throwing around "my ex girlfriend" or "my future wife" until people get the hint.

    pride shirts might help, lol, but there's always the assumption that you're an ally, too.

    hope everything works out ok!
     
  3. DreamonRose

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    I think that you should get and LGBT shirt and make it noticeable so someone asks about it and tell them yes I am gay.
     
  4. Renegades

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    Though I am only in high school, I wear a rainbow bracelet and spiked earrings(people still think I am bi though). Something else to do would be get a shorter/gayer haircut. Despite the strong hate people have for them, stereotypes can be lifesavers in a way, and can hopefully make you orientation more clear. And if a guy hits on you, confidently say that you are gay, and casually ask him if he knowns any girls who might be looking for another girl. If he says something ridiculous like "How do lesbians do it?" tell him to use his imagination. And if he asks to watch, just walk away. Confidence can be a huge factor in keeping situations around men from getting uncomfortable for you. Also, if you want to date, find a girl who might be interested as well. I know, easier said than done, but if that does succeed, you can introduce her to classmates, and the word will spread, especially if guys find you very attractive.
     
  5. matt4907

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    I'm in college currently and I'm out to people as a lesbian but I still appear somewhat femme. I carry around this water bottle with me pretty much everywhere I go that's covered in rainbow stickers. I also have a couple of rainbow pins on my backpack but those aren't as obvious. Another thing you could do is join your school's GSA if you have one and start participating in their events. It's a great way to join a larger queer community and if you start hanging out with them people will pretty much always assume that you're queer.
     
  6. Margaret

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    [YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE]
    Yea oddly enough right after I posted this a guy at work asked me out, I was just like "sorry I don't date guys!" I'm happy to be out at work now :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 28th Feb 2017 at 08:46 PM ----------

    Thanks, yea just found out my school has a LGBT club (my school is small so that was a surprise) so I'm thinking about going to a meeting to check it out.

    ---------- Post added 28th Feb 2017 at 08:48 PM ----------

    Haha yea I love dropping "my future wife" comments, it always makes people stop and ask questions.
     
  7. BradThePug

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    Going to your school's LGBT meeting I think is a good start. Other than that, some rainbow accessories may help you become more visible.
     
  8. Margaret

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    I changed my mind and got a short haircut (sort of a pixie cut so still femme). Probably not enough to say "I'm gay!" but who knows.

    ---------- Post added 5th Mar 2017 at 11:34 PM ----------

    Thanks. I checked it out quickly cuz it happens to meet next to where I work. Only saw three people, but then again I did get there pretty late.
     
  9. spiralling

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    Just say it when it comes up in a conversation. Like when people are talking about who they like. I almost had the courage to say it the other day, and the conversation was perfect, but it was with people I aren't that confident with and I got scared.